It is impossible to give faithful consideration to biblical doctrine without soon learning that the truth, when rightly apprehended, is 'unto godliness' (Titus 1:1). This godliness has also been called 'piety'.

Piety and godliness are simply two words for the same thing. Whenever they are used in various Bible translations, they are from the same Greek words (eusebeia and eusebeo). One of the hallmarks of the current resurgence of interest in Reformed doctrine is the emphasis upon the necessity of personal piety. This should be a concern for us all. Furthermore, we should not be intimidated by being called 'pietistic' when we insist that truth must bear fruit in godliness. There are doubtless forms of 'pietism' which are unbiblical, but we must never give up pursuing biblical godliness; and if we make mistakes in the process, we cannot go far wrong if our chief desire is to please God. This, after all, is what ought to motivate Reformed Christians. Indeed, the desire to please God ought to motivate all Christians.

Paul addressed pastors and the generality of Christians in this manner: 'No one serving as a soldier gets involved in civilian affairs — he wants to please his commanding officer' (2 Timothy 2:4).

Finally, brothers, we instructed you how to live in order to please God, as in fact you are living. Now we ask you and urge you in the Lord Jesus to do this more and more.1 Thessalonians 4:1

When we are pleasing God, we are glorifying him and thus fulfilling our chief end.

Our concern here is with pleasing God in our families. We are concerned that every family in our churches be a Bethel ('house of God') rather than a Bethaven ('house of iniquity'). In surveying Scripture and the history of the church, it is evident that concern for family piety has always been significant.

1. The Family is Central in the Created Order  ⤒🔗

The family was the first earthly institution (Genesis 2). Four of the Ten Commandments directly concern the family. The covenant was passed on through family lines. (In one sense or another, this was true of all the covenants of the Old Testament.) And God sought a righteous seed from the families of Israel. He ordinarily works through families. He is the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob (Luke 20.37).

Important as the local church is today, it can still be rightly said that the family is the fundamental religious/social institution within the church. Someone has rightly said that you can have strong families without a strong church, but you cannot have a strong church without strong families.

The Old Testament church addressed itself regularly to the passing on of the truth of God to future generations. The New Testament church addressed itself to the same. A few examples will serve to underline this point:

Genesis 18:19: I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him.

Calvin's comments on this verse merit consideration:

The second reason why God chooses to make Abraham a partaker of his counsel is, because he foresees that this would not be done in vain, and without profit. And the simple meaning of the passage is, that Abraham is admitted to the counsel of God, because he would faithfully fulfil the office of a good householder, in instructing his own family. Hence we infer, that Abraham was informed of the destruction of Sodom, not for his own sake alone, but for the benefit of his race. Which is carefully to be observed; for this sentence is to the same effect, as if God, in the person of Abraham, addressed all his posterity. And truly, God does not make known his will to us, that the knowledge of it may perish with us; but that we may be his witnesses to posterity, and that they may deliver the knowledge received through us, from hand to hand, (as we say) to their descendants. Wherefore, it is the duty of parents to apply themselves diligently to the work of communicating what they have learned from the Lord to their children. In this matter the truth of God is to be propagated by us, so that no one may retain his knowledge for his own private use; but that each may edify others, according to his own calling, and to the measure of his faith. There is however no doubt, that the gross ignorance which reigns in the world, is the just punishment of men's idleness. For whereas the greater part close their eyes to the offered light of heavenly doctrine; yet there are those who stifle it, by not taking care to transmit it to their children. The Lord therefore righteously takes away the precious treasures of his word, to punish the world for its sloth.

God is eager to have his mighty acts conveyed through families:

Exodus 10:1, 2: Then the Lord said to Moses, 'Go to Pharaoh, for I have hardened his heart and the hearts of his officials so that I may perform these miraculous signs of mine among them, that you may tell your children and grandchildren how I dealt harshly with the Egyptians and how I performed my signs among them, and that you may know that I am the Lord'.

Deuteronomy 4:9: Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them (See Deuteronomy 6:6-9, 20-25).

Some of Moses' last words to Israel were: Take to heart all the words I have solemnly declared to you this day, so that you may command your children to obey carefully all the words of this law. They are not just idle words for you — they are your life.Deuteronomy 32:46-47

We find similar exhortations in the New Testament: Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.Ephesians 6:4

If we were to expand this list with all of the texts which deal with God's design for family life, we would find that family piety includes many elements. These would include: Intra-family relationships: role of husband, role of wife, roles of children, family government; family economics; family recreation; family relationships to church, society and state; family worship and instruction.

While all these aspects of family piety are important — and must be taught in our churches — it is the last of them on which we shall focus attention.

2. A Plea for Family Worship←⤒🔗

The words 'family worship' (what some call 'family devotions') probably conjure up different images in different minds. There is good reason for this. The Scriptures do not plainly and systematically discuss this subject. There is no proof-text prescribing attendance at family worship per se. We ought therefore to be more cautious in what we advocate than some of our forefathers were. Nevertheless, the motives to lead us to the regular practice of family worship are compelling:

1. Family worship is a happy means of pleasing God along with those people who are most significant to us in this world. God loves corporate worship. His first corporate worshippers were families. He who delights to have families serving him, delights as well to see these families gathered to pray, to seek his face, to address one another in ‘psalms and hymns and spiritual songs', and to read his holy Word.
    
2. It is difficult to conceive how we can rightly fulfil our calling to pass along the truth of God to future generations without some regular form of family worship. The command to love God 'with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength', is immediately followed by the injunctions respecting the conveyance of the Word to children. The Word must first be upon the hearts of the parents (Deuteronomy 6:6). Then it is also to be impressed upon the children (v 7). This is to be done as part of the routine of family life, under all circumstances (vv 7-9). Doubtless this goes beyond a stated time of family worship, but some time is needed for undistracted attention to worship and instruction.
    
3. Family worship is a guard against hypocrisy. A man's religion is not real if it is not brought into the home. When it is brought into the home, it demands expression. Serious Christian convictions must be displayed in the home. Family worship provides the vehicle for such expression. Whatever a man may be in his public life, he is no more before God than what he is in his private and family life.
    
4. It is a guard against idolatry. Every family has its priorities and its idols. In Jeremiah 17:2, we read of Judah: 'Even their children remem­ber their altars and Asherah poles beside the spreading trees and on the high hills'. If we do not lead our children in worship and show them where our priorities are, then they will conclude that our priorities are upon our idols. Will it be the idols of materialism and ease that our children remember? Will it be the idols of recreation or entertainment? Do we dare ask our children: 'What do you see as the most important priorities in Mom's and Dad's lives?' Do they see family worship and even common conversation pushed aside by that tantalizing one-eyed goddess, the T.V. set, before which even Christians will sit for hours dulling their minds and jading their moral sensibilities?
    
5. It is plain (even from Scripture) that having children provides the strongest practical motive for family worship.
   
   Those precious souls, those priceless lives, are entrusted to us as a heritage from God. We are stewards of this bounty. When God condemned the people of Jerusalem for sacrificing their children, he said: 'You took your sons and daughters whom you bore to me and sacrificed them as food to the idols...' (Ezekiel 16:20). God viewed the children as born unto him. Let this fact be plainly stated to our children and modelled for them.
   
   If it is incumbent upon church members in general to 'stimulate one another to love and good works', how much more those who are yoked together by bonds of filial love, and family covenant!
   
   When we lead our children in the knowledge of the truth and the cultivation of piety, we are preparing a legacy for the next generation, which is far beyond any other investment we might make in the future.
   
   Even if our children seem to remain unregenerate while under our roof, we will have planted seeds which may yet spring to life:
   
   ''If there are no indications of early faith or anxious seeking after God, let not the parent in covenant despair of success, or neglect any suitable opportunity of winning the wayward spirit to Christ. Perhaps in some unexpected hour a mother's sigh, a father's prayer, may breathe over the youthful soul, like the wind through a harp, and be made the means of waking music on its strings, and bringing forth sweet tones of heaven.''
   
   ''Be this as it may — let no parent grow weary of watching, praying, seeking for the germ of faith. And when all has been done by instruction and counsel, which good judgment will allow, let the parental influence be always like that of some guardian angel spirit which is ever hovering near, and even though unseen, sheds heavenly fragrance from its wings.''  ¹
   
   Adoniram Judson, for example, was raised as the son of a Congregational pastor but did not at first adopt the parental faith. At the age of twenty, he went to New York seeking a worldly career as a playwright. Feeling an unyielding emptiness of life, he returned to New England and began attending his father's seminary. He was admitted without profession of faith, and after a few months solemnly dedicated himself to the Lord.
    
6. Historical examples of the benefits of family worship are easy to come by. The family worship led by Philip Henry contributed significantly to the development of that fruitful servant of God, Matthew Henry.
   
   The example of John G. Paton is worth noting:
   
   "I have to bear my testimony that religion was presented to us with a great deal of intellectual freshness, and that it did not repel us, but kindled our spiritual interest. The talks which we heard were, however, genuine; not the make-believe of religious conversation, but the sincere outcome of their own personalities. That, perhaps, makes all the difference betwixt talk that attracts and talk that drives away.''
   
   ''We had, too, special Bible Readings on the Lord's Day evening — mother and children and visitors reading in turns, with fresh and interesting question, answer, and exposition, all tending to impress us with the infinite grace of a God of love and mercy in the great gift of His dear Son Jesus, our Saviour. The Shorter Catechism was gone through regularly, each answering the question asked, till the whole had been explained, and its foundation in Scripture shown by the proof-texts adduced. It has been an amazing thing to me, occasionally to meet with men who blamed this "catechizing" for giving them a distaste to religion; every one in all our circle thinks and feels exactly the opposite... There were eleven of us brought up in a home like that; and never one of the eleven, boy or girl, man or woman, has been heard, or ever will be heard, saying that Sabbath was dull or wearisome for us, or suggesting that we have heard of or seen any way more likely than that for making the Day of the Lord bright and blessed alike for parents and for children. But God help the homes where these things are done by force and not by love!''²
   
   The son of Archibald Alexander spoke in this manner:

There are many readers of these pages who, like the author, can go back to no period of recollection in which the worship of God was not duly observed under the parental roof; and they will agree in testifying that this is among the chief blessings for which they have to thank an ever-gracious providence.³

7. Whenever the churches of God have been revived, the fervent practice of family worship has been revived as well. Richard Baxter's experience at Kidderminster is an almost proverbial example of this. But it is not unique:

In the north part of Stillwater (New York State), where the means of grace were seldom enjoyed, the work of the Lord commenced, and became very powerful. Scarcely one family was passed over. In a large district, though harrassed by sectarian contentions, where praying families were very rarely found, there was soon scarcely one house where prayer was not wont to be made; where sacrifice and a pure offering were not daily offered up to God! Many whole families, young and old, every soul, were hopefully converted to Christ.⁴

3. Obstacles to Family Worship←⤒🔗

It is to be expected that, when this subject of family worship is broached, many obstacles will be thought of. Who would want to deny the reality of obstacles, and more than that, of real dangers also? It is with family piety as it is with individual piety. We must constantly struggle against the world, the flesh and the Devil. These problems are not new. The pressing concerns of business, or even of ministry, have a tendency to tug at family priorities.

To these problems must be added the contemporary trend toward the seeking of family needs outside of the family circle. Consumerism has entered the sphere of the spirit. Just as families seek to have almost every need fulfilled by some other agency or institution, so the need for corporate worship and instruction is often sought for entirely at the hands of others. The heads of households need to be aware of this, and must seek to create a family unit which to some degree seeks to nurture its own in the Word.

It should hardly need to be said that the telephone and the television must be tightly regulated so as not to usurp the precious family worship time. One danger of family worship is that parents, who set the tone, will approach it in a counter-productive frame of mind and heart. If it is a burden to parents, it will be to children. If it is a legalistic form, it will produce only legalistic results. Matthew Henry warned parents to be wise here:

Wisdom also will direct you to manage your catechizing, as well as other branches of family religion, so as not to make it a task and burden, but as much as may be, a pleasure to those under your charge, that the blame may be wholly upon their own impiety, and not at all upon your imprudence, if they should say, 'Behold what a weariness it is'.⁵

But by far the greatest danger is that family worship will prove to be a hollow formality unaccompanied by a full-orbed life of piety (cf. Deuteronomy 6). In other words, there may be family devotions without family devotion (Isaiah 58:1-12).

The Unitarian leader, William Ellery Channing (1780-1842) told of listening as a boy to a sermon on 'The Terrors of the Lord'. He was deeply moved with a sense of the horrors of hell, but upon returning home he found that his father seemed totally unconcerned about the message of the sermon. In later years, he said:

Why, my father's cheerful unconcern impressed me exactly as if he had joked and laughed at a funeral.⁶

How readily the young observe the perfunctory character of mere religious observance, at home or church!

Practical Suggestions←⤒🔗

Everything worthwhile in life requires time. A Canadian study recently concluded that the common denominators of how time is spent may be the key to a truly nationwide Canadian identity. Would such a study of Evangelical Christians' use of time reveal an identity? How people use time is revelatory of both character and priorities. The time of meeting is not to be legislated, but proximity to meals is probably best for most families.

The elements of family worship are chiefly prayer, song, and Scripture. Testimony, catechism, written expositions, and Christian biography are among possible elements as well. We cannot legislate that even the chief elements must always be in the same order or proportion. Some occasions may seem to call for more song and less reading, or vice-versa. At other times, there may be no song but only reading and prayer. As the body requires a variety of nutrients and exercises, so does the soul. The home, of all places, is a place where we can exercise wise liberty in tailoring family worship to the situation.

The Bible must be kept central to the content of family instruction. Whenever there is discussion or questions, let it be plain to all that the Bible is the final rule, and that its rule is our law.

We began by noting that truth is unto godliness. As John Owen has so effectively stated it:

Some truths have a more immediate, direct, and effectual tendency to the promotion of godliness and gospel obedience than others ... there is ... great weight to be laid on those doctrines of truth which directly and effectually tend to the promotion of faith, love, fear, reverence of God, with universal holiness in their hearts and ways; this being that whereunto they are called, and whereby God is glorified, Jesus Christ and the gospel exalted, wherein his kingdom in them consists, on which their own peace in their own bosoms, their usefulness unto others in this world, their being made meet for the inheritance of the saints in light, do much depend.⁷

One of the most significant lessons that our children learn from our example is reverence for, and submission to, Scripture.

Furthermore, let us not fail to use Scripture in all its variety. There are Psalms to teach us about spiritual experience, Proverbs about practical life issues, narratives to illustrate God's faithfulness and man's responsibility, parables and illustrations to make truth vivid, didactic portions for more systematic doctrinal teaching.

Along with the Bible, prayer is essential. We can read the Bible without prayer, but we cannot worship without prayer.

How to pray is surely taught more by example than by precept. Parental demeanour, attitudes and contents in prayer will convey volumes to impressionable youth. In prayer, we have opportunity to begin immediately to practise what we learn from Holy Scripture. Whatever the Scripture lesson has been, it can provide useful matter for prayer, and thus keep our prayers from a routine sameness. But family prayer ought to involve more. It is an ideal time to get specific with respect to matters of family thanksgiving, family needs, and family hopes and aspirations.

It is a time for children to hear parents praying for their children as 'in the pains of childbirth until Christ is formed in' them (Galatians 4:19). Let the children hear us praying for them! Furthermore, let our family prayers be world-encompassing. Let children see our concern for the work of God's kingdom everywhere.

Let us not stop with praying; but rather, let us talk with our children about their prayer lives. Ask them if they can see God answering their prayers. Have you shared God's answers to your prayers with them? Our intercessions for others in need of affliction will also teach our children by example to look not only to their own concerns, but also those of others.

Prayer for the outpouring of the Spirit should also be made:

We have reserved for this place a point which appears to us to be second to no other in its bearing on this branch of our subject; we mean family-prayer for the outpouring of the Holy Spirit on the church. The duty and privilege of such prayer, in general, are acknowledged by every pious heart. We desire to call attention to the necessity of such prayer, as a part of daily household worship. A church is already in a state of revival when all its praying families are thus engaged in sincerity. But in the coldest times, those that fear the Lord should make conscience of bearing this matter on their hearts before God, amidst their families. Immense power is thus added to the public ministry of the Word.⁸

How much more would our children grow in appreciation for the church if they heard Mom and Dad praying earnestly for its well-being and advancement?

The value of the catechetical method should not be underestimated. Whether or not a formal catechism is actually used, the method of verbal questions and answers is vital to good instruction. By this, I mean both fact questions (which require the interpretation) and application of truth to their lives. The latter type would include questions like these: Does the Holy Spirit guide you? Do you love God? How is God working this for our good as he promised in Romans 8:28? Has God answered your prayers? We must labour to apply the Scriptures in a discriminating manner to our little ones.

Finally, we would do well not to neglect the rich resources available in church history and biography. It appears that Hebrews 11:35-7 refers to some extra-biblical heroes of the faith. When we speak of God's mighty acts, let us draw from the history of his works which are recorded in more recent history, as well as in the Old and New Testaments. The resources for this purpose are too numerous to mention.

Conclusion←⤒🔗

Many of us doubtlessly come from family experiences in which we knew nothing, and had no example, of family worship. Let us be, then, the generation which turns this around. During most of the 55-year reign of Manasseh, there was complete apostasy. But soon thereafter, during the 31-year reign of Josiah, there was a thorough reform (2 Chronicles 34, 35; 2 Kings 22-23:28). Families undoubtedly reflected the difference in these two periods. It is possible for everything to turn around in one generation.