Introduction⤒🔗

Today in the world and in society there are two things, two institutions which come down from the very beginning and creation of man. Those two institutions are in the first in­stance the observation of one day in seven for the public worship of God and in the second instance the blessing of marriage.

The N.T. tells us in 1 Tim 4:1 for example that corrupt and perverse teaching with respect to marriage is the doctrine, the teaching of devils. We need to be alert to that fact at this present hour in history. The prevalence of opposition to scripture is not some new thing; it is part of the expression of man's hostility to God fundamentally.

On the basis of God's holy Word we believe that this present day confusion originates from the rejection of God's testimony con­cerning man and woman, the differences God has built into his creation and the different roles that they must occupy in life under him. Modern intellectuals have united in assert­ing that they do not know the reason for the differentiation between male and female. For that matter, they do not know the origin of man. When we proclaim to them what the Bible teaches, then they respond by saying that the account of the Word of God is similar to a myth or legend. They ridicule the Genesis 2:18-25 passage as well as other Bible pas­sages. They say: 'Who can believe what the bible teaches that woman is a rib taken out of man? There (they say) is the intelligence of scripture. We are far too learned to believe such proposition.'

But if you read the biographies of some of the leading 20th century philosophers and think­ers and ask, 'what kind of beauty and harmo­ny have they discovered in marriage? What kind of example are they able to give less learned people in the real meaning of wedded life?' you make some very sad discoveries. Those who have united to set aside the Word of God have literally nothing to tell us about what man is to be, what woman is to be, what marriage is, and what is the true role of men and women.

The Confusion←⤒🔗

What are some of the results of this confu­sion? Well, the vast majority of children are being raised without a clear distinction between a father and a mother. Fathers and mothers pretty much do similar things – so they think. Women can work outside the home – fulltime, men can stay at home. There is no men's work; no women's work. It is all the same. And they too become confused as to who they are. Boys are told to behave and want to do things girls want to do and vice versa. You can see it even on clothes and appearance. Society often tries to force men to wear their hair long like women; and for women to cut their hair short like men. Men are to dress rather effeminately; women in a masculine fashion. This is not to say that this is always so – but there is rampant confusion even at this level.

Then there is the whole area of homosexuality and civil unions in which men refer to other men are their husbands, and so on. What con­fusion – it is nothing less than the unraveling of creation principles – and the thing is man wants it like this. It would be one thing if God had said because of man's sin – there will no longer be any of these gifts from my Creator's hand – because of your sin. No marriage. No difference between men and women, etc. But the Lord did not do so. Yes, he added the curse to both men and women – "in the sweat of thy face thou shalt eat bread"; and I will increase thy sorrow (Gen 3), etc. But now we have man in his sin wanting to overturn the creation itself.

I know of no remedy for the Christian church and for anyone today, but to go back to the Word of God, and discover what God says about "how from the beginning it was not so" (Matt 19) and how exactly it was at the begin­ning. And let none be ashamed to do so.

Biblical Masculinity←⤒🔗

I already mentioned that there is an effemi­nateness that has crept over how our society speaks about masculinity; however, I should also note that there have been abuses on the other side, where men have been allowed to act like animals. There can be such an empha­sis on what is known as "macho" that man hardly even converse normally with those around them, especially women, just demand from them, rule as tyrants, and live as heartless monsters.

Neither of these is what the Bible teaches, and if you as a young man are on a path to either of these, listen to what the Bible has to you. Moreover, the young women among us should listen to how it is that God wants men to be, so that when you begin to ask whom God may have you marry, you will seek for a man like the Bible says a man should be.

1. A man should be First of all a Servant-leader←↰⤒🔗

God made Adam to have dominion over the beasts of the field and over the fowl of the air. That meant that he was to work and provide for himself and his family. He is to work with his hand and/or mind and exert himself un­der God in order to fulfill the calling God has given him to do. A man who won't provide for his family (except of course through ill­ness or an accident) is worse than an infidel. It may be that work is scarce and wages are low, but a man will not let his wife work in his stead (unless, of course, he cannot work because of disease or an accident) to provide for the family.

Connected with this the man should also lead his house; he should rule and take responsi­bility. He needs to think about the whole of his family and plan and provide and lead. He should have his family in order and discipline – not in harshness but love.

His leadership should not be dictatorial, but a servant kind of leadership that sacrifices, that loves, that is forbearing, and kind, humble, but all the while does not evade responsibil­ity, but accept it and move his whole family forward in the order that God prescribes for families in Eph 5-6, Col 3-4, and other pas­sages. In order to do so, he must be right with God, and obedient to his Word. He must truly know Christ, for without true faith in Christ, he can never do these things. True masculini­ty is seen there where a man falls on his knees before his Maker, acknowledges his sins, and seeks the covering of the blood of Jesus Christ, the only righteous MAN – the second Adam.

2. A man, secondly, should be a Prophet, Priest, and King←↰⤒🔗

These terms may seem foreign to us, but they sim­ply mean that this servant leader I have been speak­ing about should lead by word – instructing his wife and family. Also in his work he should have something to of­fer in terms of instruction to others – not in a haughty attitude, but as people watch him, they should see something radiate from him and will want to learn from him and know the source of his strength and ability. As a priest, a man will lead his family in prayer and worship. He himself will pray for his family, but whenever they have a meal together – he leads in worship, and trains his family how to worship God. He knows himself responsible for the family's church attendance and that everyone goes up to church properly dressed, in the knowledge where they are going and how they should go. After church, he seeks to probe what has been understood or not understood and he will lead his family so that there will be benefit with the blessing of the Holy Spirit. He will seek for the spiritual advantage of his wife. His wife might be very different from him; yet he longs to "wash her in the word" (Eph 5:25-26). He is also to exercise kingship or rule in his home, as we already saw, but also in whatever sphere it is that he has been given authority, at work, in the church, in society. He will long to see his own sons be truly men and his daughters – true women, and will work to that end.

3. He ought to be ready to Defend and Guard from Enemies, Seen and Unseen←↰⤒🔗

Specifically, as king, he ought to defend his wife and family from enemies – seen and unseen. He should not be afraid to take measures that enemies do not come into the home through media and other ways that will draw the hearts of his wife and children away from the Word and the truth. Of course, we realize that our worst enemy dwells within us, but also there, a true man will be on his guard that that enemy be kept in check, and that through the power of the Holy Spirit, it would ultimately be defeated in true conver­sion of heart.

The Bible is filled with role-models, whether it is Abraham, Job, and Caleb. Of course, all of them were still sinners, and at best sinners saved by grace. How we need the blood of the Lord Jesus to cleanse us from our sins as men, and failing to be the men he has called us to be, and to look to his active obedience, with­out which there is no hope.

Biblical Femininity←⤒🔗

Let us look at what the Lord ordained con­cerning woman:

1. The woman Stands Alongside of the man to Help him←↰⤒🔗

In Gen 1:27 we read:

So God created man in His own image, in the image of God created He him, male and female created He them.

Both are persons. Both will, both think, both are responsible, both have a true knowl­edge, righteousness and holiness. Above all else, they are spiritual, they are made for God. They are not simply body. They are not only mind. But they are soul, in the image of God. That truth bears equally on male and female. They stand together male and female as the image bearers of God.

But the way that God created man – male and female – is very telling. He first made man and let men experience what he himself said – namely that it was "not good for man to be alone." God gave Adam to behold the power and goodness of God in the animal creation. He gave names to all the cattle, the fowl of the air, to every beast of the field; but ... but for Adam there was not found a help meet for him. As Adam surveyed the creation of God, that truth was born into his own conscious­ness.

And that led then to the creation of woman. The LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs,¹ and closed up the flesh instead thereof; and the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made He a woman, and brought her unto the man (Gen 2:21-22).

But notice especially that the woman who was created is described as a help meet for him (Gen 2:18). In those words we have the dignity and glory of woman. She does not belong to that other order of creation. She is the image of God. She is a person. She thinks. She is mind and soul and body. And because she is as man, there is an affinity. She is a help meet for him.

Now the word meet has often been dis­cussed. It means 'suitable', 'corresponding to.' It means literally that Eve was the perfect complement and counterpart to man.

That is saying something glorious about woman. So in verse 23: And Adam said ... Adam said, this is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh... That is, we are to understand that to the depth of his being he was thrilled at the consciousness here one stood who cor­responded perfectly to him, taken from him, yes, and another person, one with whom he could share and pour out his heart, who together – as the scripture says – could live in abiding oneness. The dignity of the woman, she stands alongside of man. This is the es­sence of femininity.

It was God's design, God's purpose. It wasn't some trick of nature or evolution, but God Himself appointed marriage. And God gave to man, to Adam, this abiding instinctive attachment to the woman who was to be his wife.

Luther, Martin Luther, comments on the words in vs. 23, this is now ... this is now bone of my bones. Luther says, "this little word now indicates an overwhelming, pas­sionate love." This is now... At that instant Adam was given of God this attachment, that indissoluble attachment to his wife, whom he loved.

That's why the sanctity of marriage is some­thing that runs through scripture. That which belongs to marriage is holy, God-given. Taken out of marriage, the sexual relationship taken out of marriage is something that provokes the very wrath and curse of God. It is unholy. It merits this wrath and judgment. To tamper with marriage is to sin against God. That's the scriptural position.

When Joseph in Egypt was tempted, as you may recall, he said, How can I do this great wickedness and sin against God? (Gen 39:9).

That's the truth.

The love of a husband for his wife becomes lust when it is outside of the sanctity of the marriage bond. Whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her, says our Lord, hath committed adultery with her already in his heart (Mt 5:28). If thy right eye offend them says our Lord, continuing those words, pluck it out and cast it from thee. It is better that one of thy members should perish and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell (Mt 5:29).

Now God in His providence sometimes also calls us to be single. I know very well that sometimes there are longings in the human heart that we might not be single, and yet God in His wisdom does not appoint it other­wise for us.

Let us not suppose that that is some terrible disaster. The love of the Lord Jesus Christ is infinitely more precious and valuable than even the love that God gives to husband and wife.

We need to say that. And we need to say that especially when we are young Christians. If we are young and we profess to know Christ, then we are doing real dishonor to Him, if we give the impression that our primary interest is finding a partner in life. You know, there are people who appear to give that impres­sion sometimes. And if they give that impres­sion, it means we are following the world and not truly the Word of God, because if we are real Christians, there is something more im­portant not us even than this great blessing. And that is that we should please Christ, that we should be His servants, that we should follow His calling for us in this world. So that first all of – woman stands as a help alongside of man.

2. The woman is to Concen­trate her Efforts in the Home←↰⤒🔗

I am speaking of married women, now, but there is a line also to unmarried women. I certainly do not think the Bible wishes for women to remain uneducated, and so on, for if anything – to raise children and run a home, assist your husband, and all of this together requires a lot of wisdom and learning, so I would not want to discourage that. There are also times when young women do not or must wait to be married, or later on are widowed, and then it is good to have had some education and skills, if that has been possible. However, the Lord has ordained it that women's areas of dominion (for that is what she does have according to Gen 1) usually fall within the home. In the nurture or children whom the Lord may give. In ensuring (together with and at the direction of and in consultation with the husband) that the home is filled with a biblical ethos. That the children are raised in an orderly way, a disciplined, biblical way with much love, warmth, and tenderness.

Many proofs could be mentioned for this, but let it suffice that first of all God has built into the ability of the woman, to bring forth new life, to nurse it, and care for it in a way that no man can truly be a substitute. Moreover, the woman of Proverbs 31, though she does many other things, and that certainly should be acknowledged as well, in the first instance, "the heart of her husband safely trusteth in her" and "she looketh well to the ways of her household" (11, 27). Moreover, Titus 2 mentions that older women are to instruct younger women "to be keepers at home" (v. 5). I do not think we can rule that a woman may never work outside the home; however, I would say that normally the woman should concentrate on the home and watch that any work outside the home does not make the home to suffer and also that it not be done simply for economical advantage and things such as that. And that is certainly most of the reason why our society has pushed this. It is better to have a smaller home, a simpler life, than to have children wondering who will care for them the next day, and who will be the stable presence in their life.

Of course, I understand that there may be exceptions, because of disease or times of war or severe hardship, but let those remain exceptions.

3. The woman should Cultivate an Inward Beauty←↰⤒🔗

The world's idea of femininity is very much linked up with external beauty. This shows how man apart from God always warps and corrupts the right kind of thinking. For God wants women by grace to culti­vate inner beauty.

1 Peter 3:3, 4:

Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorn­ing of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

This does not mean that there is no room for a woman looking her best. Provided clothing be modest and cover the body appropriately and be feminine and not masculine kind of clothing – it is good for both men and women to have some concern for their appearance. However, this is not the main duty. Peter is talking about a kind of internal beauty that comes from the Lord, and which also must be sought and nurtured by grace, praying for the work of the Holy Spirit. A meek and quiet spirit. A life that is focused on good. A dispo­sition that is content in God and in his Son. A life that is a pilgrim life here below. A life that stands against the tide of this world. A life that seeks first the kingdom of God. A life that seeks to be a quiet but genuine witness for the Lord. This can only come from a life that knows what prayer is, that studies the Word of God. That seeks to walk in the way of women who trusted in God in times past as well as today.

I believe there is a great need for younger women to be mentored by older women. Girls by godly mothers and grandmothers or other mothers in the congregation. Many times, young women learn things from other women that they otherwise would not know. Also young women need advice and encour­agement, counsel, and guidance from other women that it may be difficult or impossible for men to give this to them. Things relating to keeping house, raising children, enduring struggles, suffering afflictions, keeping your head above water, finding time for the Lord.

But all of this ought to lead to the end that women seek to have this meek and quiet adornment, which is so attractive within families, within churches and within societies. What a blessing if children grow up having such a mother. It is a gift no money can buy and which the Lord will often use.

Conclusion←⤒🔗

As I close, I wish to point out three final things:

1. We need to come under the authority of the Bible. The natural mind rejects author­ity of any kind, especially God's author­ity, and especially God's authority for how we should live. But when we cast off God's authority, we reap disorder and ultimately death. That is what we are fac­ing as a culture. Let us not take a critical attitude towards the Bible – but let us bow under it, and we will find rest in follow­ing what the Lord has ordained for us.
    
2. Biblical masculinity and femininity do not just happen in our lives. The culture is against it. Our hearts are against it by nature. Even in our churches there can easily come the slippery slope that makes us pretty much like the culture. We need families, churches, young men and young women would will stand firm; heed the Scriptures, go against the pull and tide of our world. Don't wait with this. Exam­ine yourselves by the Scriptures we have just reviewed. How must things change in your life? Don't wait for your peers to change. Don't wait for your family or church to change. You – you must come under God's demands for you, and let others do what they wish – but let there be a difference. As a young man, prepare to lead, defend, and deal respectfully with others around you, especially women. As a young woman – resist the temptation to be like the world tells you to be, perhaps your friends. Be willing to stand alone  – and you won't stand alone, for God will help and vindicate you and you will find sweet fellowship with people who will truly be your friends.
    
3. Seek grace from the Lord. You can try to do all that I say in your own strength, but then it will simply be self and hard and dutiful and it may just be a fad. What we need is the power of the gospel and of the Holy Spirit to transform us. Jonathan Edwards, and I end with this, during the awakening that the Lord gave under his ministry, wrote:
   
   There is a strange alteration almost all over New England among young people; by a powerful, invisible influence on their minds, they have been brought to forsake those things in a general way, as it were at once, that they were extremely fond of, and greatly addicted to, and that they seemed to place the happiness of their lives in, and nothing before could induce them to forsake; as their frolicking, vain company-keeping, night walking, their mirthy and jollity, their impure language, and lewd songs. In vain did ministers preach against those things before, and in vain were laws made to restrain them, and in vain was all the vigilance of mag­istrates and civil officers; but now they have almost everywhere dropped them as it were of themselves. O for such a pow­erful work, a blessed work, a reviving work – that will make men, women, and young people, new creatures, through Christ.