As Reformed Christians, we stress the importance of God's covenantal relationship with His people. Scripture shows us how our God works in families, and also how Christian parents are called to bring their children up in the fear of the Lord. One passage in the Old Testament shows us how we can do this; it was a foundational text for the Old Testament people of God, and, as the New Testament people of God, it should shape our thinking and practice as well.

These words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shalt talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shalt bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. Deuteronomy 6:6-9, ESV

Family devotions⤒🔗

As Christians, our "religious" practices are not limited to the times when we gather for corporate worship. We can't, and we shouldn't, divide life up into separate compartments. All of life is religious; "God talk" should not be limited to the times when we meet formally – all of life should be centered on worshipping God and speaking about Him and His works, and this passage makes that fact very clear.

One of the ways that we can make sure that we're doing what we're supposed to do within our Christian families is to set aside a regular time for family worship. This is more than just mechanically asking for God's blessing on our food before our evening meal, giving thanks for it, and then reading a passage from the Bible. Family worship, or family devotions, can provide parents with a regular opportunity to deliberately speak about God's Word, teach God's Word, and apply God's Word to the lives of everyone in the family.

Families with young children know from experience how challenging this can be. With our busy schedules and all the demands we have on our time, with short attention spans and tired young bodies and minds to deal with, it can be a struggle to set aside a regular time for meaningful family worship. But for families in which one parent isn't a believer, family worship can mean additional stress on a relationship which is already strained.

Tougher to do, but all the more important←⤒🔗

A strained relationship between a husband and wife who do not share the same faith should come as no surprise; God's command that believers "not be unequally yoked with unbelievers" has a basis in the reality that, at the most basic level, "righteousness" has no partnership with lawlessness, and "light" has no fellowship with "darkness" (2 Corinthians 6:14). So it's no surprise that keeping God's commands leads to practical benefits in the lives of everyone involved, since those commands are never arbitrary.

However, for a husband or wife who has come to faith apart from his or her spouse, the marriage relationship brings additional responsibility, as well as a beautiful calling for the believer. As the Apostle Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 7:16, "Wife, how do you know whether you will save your husband? Husband, how do you know whether you will save your wife?"

In this kind of situation, family worship time becomes an opportunity, not just to teach and encourage the children of the family, but also to teach and encourage the unbelieving spouse to put his or her faith in Christ. But how can this be done?

It should be real←⤒🔗

First of all, the same principles apply as in any regular family situation. Family worship should not be made into a meaningless tradition – something that we do simply because this is how we've always done things, with the idea that we can "get it over and done with," and go on with the rest of our lives. Bible reading and prayer should be done thoughtfully, deliberately, with the knowledge that when we are opening up God's Word we are hearing His voice, and that when we're praying, we're speaking to our Creator and Savior.

It should be joyful←⤒🔗

Secondly, family worship should be joyful. This is not another burden, just another ritual we have to go through in order to feel like we're doing the right thing. For families with young children, this may mean lowering our expectations about how long the kids will sit still and listen, while still encouraging them to develop and grow in this area. It means being patient, as well as being self-disciplined.

Regular family worship is also a great opportunity to sing together, to learn the psalms, to practice memory work or songs that were sung in the previous week's worship services. God's command to "let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God" (Colossians 3:16) isn't limited to the worship services. What better way is there for a family to express joy and encourage one another than by singing together? Our songs aren't just prayers or praise, they are also important teaching tools, allowing us to let God's Word dwell in each of us in all its richness.

The gospel is presented←⤒🔗

When a believing spouse leads the family in a thoughtful and joyful time of family devotions, something of vital importance is happening. Through the experience alone, even apart from the specific content of our reading, prayer, and conversation, the unbelieving spouse will see and experience that the Christian life is not all about doing the right things, going through the right motions, outward piety, or meaningless traditions. The non-Christian spouse will experience this display of God's grace as a part of the family, but at the same time as an outsider.

And this may just be one of the means God uses, by His grace, to bring the unbelieving spouse to faith. And since God uses His Word as a means of grace, and the Holy Spirit works through the Word, there is no better way to lead someone to Christ than by opening that Word with them.

It can't be limited to family devotions←⤒🔗

But there's one final, vitally important point that must be made. Family devotions must express a reality that shows itself in every area of the family's life. If a believing husband doesn't lead his family in a Christ-like way, if he says one thing and does another, if he lives one way on Sundays and another for the other six days of the week, no amount of family devotions will make a difference to the life of the non-Christian spouse. In each of our relationships, if we don't practice what we preach, we're actually doing a disservice to the cause of Christ.

Our greatest witness, both within and outside of our families, is in the way we live in every aspect of our lives. It is reflecting Christ in our words and in our deeds that provides the best witness for the gospel. Family worship may be an important part of that witness, but it is only one piece of a much larger puzzle. God calls Christian wives to "be subject to their own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives – when they see your respectful and pure conduct" (1 Peter 3:1,2, ESV). In the same way, Christian husbands need to lead their families, do their work, and raise their children in a way that brings glory to the Lord.

Of course, we can't control the way people will respond; they may respond positively, or they may continue to reject the gospel. But thankfully we aren't responsible for the response of others; that's the job of the Holy Spirit. But we can, by God's grace, be tools that God uses to bring people to faith, by living in faithful obedience to Him. And our faithful devotion to our God, in family worship and in all of life, may just be the means that God will choose to bring those we love to a true and living faith.