Many of us have probably said these words or at least thought them about ourselves at some point: I hate myself. Whether you didn’t measure up to your own expectations or to someone else’s, you felt pretty down about yourself. You beat up yourself about not completing the pass in foot­ball that could have won the game. You are hard on yourself because you missed one question on your test that could have clinched that grade you were aiming for and so you feel inferior to other people. Maybe it’s because you feel that you don’t measure up to other people, either in clothing, looks, or ability. You look around, try to measure up, fall short, and conclude, “I just hate myself.” No one around you can bring you back up to a level where you feel respectable enough to function well. Who you are and how others think of you bothers you to no end. Is it okay to view yourself this way? Are we allowed to absolutely loathe ourselves because of others’ expectations or even our own?

When we experience this self-hatred, we are slaves to what others think; we are slaves to the fear of man. We need to be careful when saying “I hate myself” in relation to other people’s standards or our own if they are unbiblical or even simply unrealistic. We can be disappointed about our performance in some area of life and strive to do better, but we must not let this disappointment boil over into self-hatred; we may not let it control our lives. Unmet expectations, disappointment, and self-hatred lead to an unbiblical and unrealistic self-image. This makes you big and God small.

There is room in our lives, however, for a biblical self-hatred. Consider the words of Job: “I abhor (despise) myself, and repent in dust and ashes” (Job 42:6). Job had suffered immensely as a result of Satan’s sifting and testing him to see if he would remain righteous. Through it all, he questioned God’s purpose and he thought he knew better than God. He tried to direct God in the midst of his pain and affliction, but God brought Job down to reality with questions to reveal His power and wisdom. Job realized the immensity of God’s character and purpose in his life and this led to his confession in Job 42. Job had received a glimpse of God — and in that light, he speaks these words of self-hatred. He hated himself because of who God was: wise and perfect in character and plan. This self-hatred led to repentance for thinking he knew better than God, for rebelling against God. Job was humbled in the sight of God. He was small and God was big.

This is a biblical self-image and the beginning of the res­toration of our image in light of who God is. When we loathe ourselves biblically, it is a result of seeing God’s character and purpose in our lives, and seeing who we are in light of God’s perfect, flawless character and plan. We will see ourselves as sinners in need of redemption, bought back from our sins and its effects by the blood of Jesus. We will see our need of restoration to fully restore the image of God in our lives. A biblical self-hatred will dethrone us and we will acknowledge God as the Ruler of our lives. It will lead us to say with Job, “I despise myself and repent of my sinfulness.” In what way do you say these words: “I hate myself”?