Keeping conversation holy is the responsibility of every Christian. This article shows how one can be engaged in Christian conversation by controlling the tongue.

Source: The Banner of Sovereign Grace Truth, 2004. 3 pages.

Redeeming the Tongue

When the Christian comes to the end of his pilgrimage, one sin he will regret is his idle speech. It is assumed that no true believer allows himself to go on in outward sins such as drunkenness, theft, or immorality. It is assumed, too, that the believer is concerned to put a stop to all inward sins, not least to sinful thoughts. But there is reason to believe that our sins of speech are specially in need of correction.

Our sins of thought bring us much shame inwardly; but our sins of speech expose us to shame in the eyes of others. Our sinful words are our sinful thoughts verbalized. They are audibly broadcast. They reflect the corruption within us as does a mirror. They do harm to ourselves, and they do harm to others.

Every Christian is profoundly thankful that many of his thoughts are known to no one besides himself and God. If the brain had a natural power of transmitting our private thoughts to other people, we should all be covered with confusion and disgrace. Who could look his neighbor in the eye? In kindness, however, God has erected a screen of privacy around the mind so that only He and we are aware of the constant trickle of unholy and foolish thoughts within us. Into this confessional, happily, no third party need be introduced.

But when our thoughts are clothed with speech, they remove this screen of silence and pass through into the outside world. Our folly, formerly known only to ourselves, is now apparent to all men. It is to be feared, therefore, that we do not read God’s Word on this subject with anything like the attention it deserves. “The heart of fools proclaimeth out foolishness” (Prov. 12:23). “The mouth of fools poureth out foolishness” (Prov. 15:2). “A foolish woman is clamorous (loud, noisy) (Prov. 9:13). “A fool’s lips enter into contention” (Prov. 18:6). “A fool’s mouth is his destruction, and his lips are the snare of his soul” (Prov. 18:7). “A fool uttereth all his mind” (Prov. 29:11). What shame a good man feels when he spoils his testimony by speaking foolishly! Scripture says: “Dead flies cause the ointment of the apothecary (perfumer) to send forth a stinking savour: so doth a little folly him that is in rep­utation for wisdom and honour” (Eccles. 10:1).

Holiness🔗

There is another reason, too, why we might look back in sorrow at our misuse of the tongue and therefore keep a more careful watch over it in the future. The tone of a Christian’s conversation gives us a fair idea of how sanctified he is. “By thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned” (Matt. 12:37), said Christ. The meaning must surely be that words betray the true character of every man. They reveal the state of the heart and proclaim us wor­thy of heaven or hell. But if words reveal the state of the heart, do they not also reveal the degree of a Christian holiness?

There is a wide difference between the everyday con­versation of one Christian and another. All believers speak the language of heaven; but not all speak it equally consistently or fluently. If proof of this is required, we need only make the experiment of visiting half a dozen homes of Christian friends and neighbors. Every believer knows how little profit he gets from visiting some homes of professing Christians and, on the other hand, how much he gets from others. And it is not always as one might think. There are preachers whose table-talk is unprofitable, just as there are wid­ows and orphans whose conversation is spiritual, holy, and uplifting. Here sometimes, as elsewhere, “the first are last and the last first.”

It must be owing to our ignorance of God that we sometimes permit our tongues to roam up and down in idle talk. Was it not our Savior and Judge Himself who warned us: “I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment” (Matt. 12:36)? Similarly, the apostle Paul issues this sober command to us: “Let no corrupt (worthless) communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers” (Eph. 4:29). There is a twofold duty placed before us in these words: to refrain from careless and unprofitable talk and to study to build one another up by well-cho­sen, soul-fattening conversation.

One reason why, as modern Christians, we talk so much about so little is that we are bombarded by trivial speech on every side. The entertainment world, which now has a mouth-piece somewhere in most houses, has a great deal to answer for. It has taught us all how to talk endlessly about nothing. So-called radio and television “personalities” are often little better than mass educators in the art of trivial talk. That is the world’s way and it is to be, in a sense, expected from them. But this bad example is picked up by Christians, too. We learn to conform to ever easier and lower lev­els. Instead, we should raise the tone of our daily conversation to something more consistent with our calling as the sons of God.

How perfect in this respect, as in all others, is the example of our blessed Lord Jesus Christ! Let any athe­ist who cares to do so come forward with critical scissors and cut out from the four gospels every say­ing of Christ’s which is frothy, light, and trivial. He will find it a hopeless task. Wherever we look in the gospels, no single sermon, phrase, or even syllable appears in the mouth of Jesus which could be called unprofitable. What a wealth, rather, we have of weighty doctrine from His lips! What an encyclopedia of theology! What a compendium of holy living! What a “book of quotations”! What an anthology of edifying and immortal sayings, stories, parables, prophecies and (even in our modern secular world) household expressions! If character is to be judged from a man’s words, then we have here another reason for falling down at the feet of this Man, who so spoke as none ever did before or since. For Christ out-speaks all who ever spoke and makes the skill of an Aristotle grow pale. He out-Homers Homer and out-Shakespeares Shakespeare! One public sermon of Christ virtually makes the wisdom of the ages redundant; and His briefer words uttered in private carry the same hallmark of divine spirituality.

It is to be feared that our Savior has too few disciples who study to copy Him in His high-toned level of conversation. But, however greatly we have failed, we must repent and cultivate a way of speaking which better reflects the holiness of our Master.

Practical Guidelines🔗

We would suggest the following guidelines as being a way to improve the tone of Christian conversation:

  1. When the Lord’s people meet, they should always try to lead one another’s thoughts to God. Granted that we need to enquire after one another’s families, health, and circumstances, it should be our aim soon to rise in our talk to the things of the Spirit. We may do this by cultivating the habit of bringing the Scriptures into our conversation as a matter of course. It is surely a great pity if the heirs of heaven cannot talk naturally to one another about their Savior and His Word. But as J.C. Ryle somewhere says, there are too many believers who “in conference add nothing” to us (Gal. 2:6).
  2. The Lord’s people should attempt to cultivate a the­ological habit of mind and speech. It is still the excellent practice of Christians in parts of the Highlands of Scot­land to gather regularly in homes in order to spend two or three hours discussing points of Christian doc­trine and experience. One wishes that the practice could be exported to every corner of the evangelical world. Over a period of years Christians become in this way familiar with the whole spectrum of truth and they develop the valuable gift of expressing themselves the­ologically. A senior Christian man normally takes the “chair” and a question is proposed for the members of the group to discuss. Typical questions might be: “Did Adam know he was a public person before he sinned?” “When Christ said, ‘It is finished!,’ what was finished?”
    “What is ‘liberty’ in prayer?” This meeting of kindred minds leads to enriching insights for the whole group.
  3. The pulpit should encourage the practice of spiritual conversation among members of a congregation. A preacher may do this by throwing out one or two ques­tions for the people to meditate on and discuss among themselves during the week, or else some passage of Scripture to explain. R.M. M‘Cheyne used to do this. He would give out from the pulpit some text or chapter to think about. The fruits of the people’s study and med­itation might then be gleaned during a group meeting in the week, when mistakes could be corrected and valuable insights shared.
  4. Particularly on the Lord’s Day, Christians should endeavor to spend most of their free time in meditating on and speaking about spiritual subjects. If the Puritans’ strictures are to be taken seriously, we must believe that “unnecessary thoughts, words or works about our worldly employments or recreations” (Shorter Catechism, Qu. 61) are forbidden by the fourth commandment.
    The great Christians of the past have striven to make the Lord’s Day a heaven on earth and to weave as much of Christ into their conversation and meditation as they could. They sometimes did this in a way which was far from “heavy.” For instance, Archbishop Ussher once said to a friend, “A word about Christ ere we part.” More forcibly, Calvin declares, “Every man ought to withdraw himself from everything but the consideration of God and His works (i.e. on the Lord’s Day), that all men may be stirred up to serve and honour Him” (Sermon 93 on Deuteronomy 15).
    On the other hand, deeply spiritual minds are particularly grieved by trivial and worldly conversation on God’s day. David Brainerd, speaking of those who talked about secular matters on the Sabbath, wrote in his journal: “Oh, I thought what a hell it would be to live with such men to eternity.” A large part of the due sanctification of the Lord’s Day consists in restricting our thoughts and words very specially to divine and spiritual subjects and omitting unnecessary talk about ordinary things.

In conclusion, it needs to be said that there is a spe­cial blessing attached to godly and spiritual conversation. To this Malachi alludes in his prophecy: “Then they that feared the LORD spake often one to another: and the LORD hearkened, and heard it, and a book of remembrance was written before him for them that feared the LORD, and that thought upon his name” (Mal. 3:16). What a promise! If Christians today were seriously to practice the pattern of this verse, how much more of God’s presence we should enjoy! Then let us study to edify one another. Those who do so will discover that even the Almighty Himself gives ear.

Add new comment

(If you're a human, don't change the following field)
Your first name.
(If you're a human, don't change the following field)
Your first name.

Plain text

  • No HTML tags allowed.
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.