Behind a closed door, Ryan clicks on yet another seductive image. Just this last picture, Ryan thinks, then I’ll quit. Before the download is complete, there is one loud knock. The door opens, and his father rushes in.

Ryan tries to block the image on his screen while he fumbles to click off the Internet. It’s too late. His father has seen enough, and he confronts Ryan about viewing pornography on the Internet.

Stung by the discovery, Ryan mixes remorse with a defence that he’s not hurting anyone, it’s just entertainment, and that all his friends do it.

“Cruising Internet nudity may seem like harmless fun, but it’s not,” Ryan’s father tells him. “I know. I’ve been struggling with Internet pornography for years.”

Like Ryan and his father, many Christians, especially men, regularly visit pornographic Internet sites. Several sources report that 15 to 20 per cent of all web site hits at work and on university campuses (including Christian institutions) are for pornographic material. In the late evening, pornography accounts for half collegiate Internet usage.

The consequences can be serious: damaged reputation, spiritual guilt, expulsion from school, loss of job, or even eventual divorce. It’s no wonder that the number of businesses that monitor employee Internet use is growing rapidly.

Among men in the church, secret habits about Internet pornography may be creating an oppressive sense of failure. To complicate matters, notes author and researcher Archibald Hart, a religious upbringing in itself does not necessarily lead to a healthier sexual life; it may just contribute to a greater sense of guilt. When it comes to fantasy sex, men in the church may well earn the accusation “pious hypocrites”.

At least two factors contribute to this situation: accommodation to destructive cultural trends and inadequate discipling that would equip the saints to follow Christ faithfully in the area of their sexuality.

While some issues regarding sexuality are the same for every generation, the Internet has created opportunities that compound the problem. The increase in pornography-viewing is fuelled by five elements related to Internet technology: access, anonymity, privacy, speed, and independence.

Access: Fifty years ago, pornography was available mainly to adults in seedy stores. Now, any Internet user can find nearly endless pornographic resources of spirit-numbing variety and depravity — and much of it is free.

Web addresses for pornographic sites often appear in searches for non-pornographic material. While doing research for a paper on inter-racial adoption, my sixth-grade daughter discovered that a third of the listed sites were for inter-racial sex. This is a hazard parents can’t ignore.

Anonymity: Instead of risking being recognised entering an XXX theatre, users can usually keep their identity unknown to the supplier. Technically, a user’s computer can be discovered by Internet servers that record all hits, by blocking software that registers violations, and by digital “cookies” that provide access information to advertisers Yet even when purchases or emails do betray their identity, users still feel anonymous, and this illusion keeps them accessing sites.

Privacy: Because computers are often operated behind closed doors, users can view pornography with little fear of exposure. Most users are savvy enough to know how to exit quickly and destroy the evidence of their activity.

Speed: Images can be downloaded or erased within seconds, encouraging more activity and diminishing the possibility of discovery. Viewing an Internet site is nearly as fast as picking up a magazine, without the problem of keeping the magazine hidden.

Independence: Unlike other conduits for pornography, the Internet cannot be effectively controlled or utterly safe-guarded. Even the best pornography-blocking software can’t deny access to all the growing numbers of the sexually-oriented sites. In addition, purveyors of illegal web sites are rarely prosecuted. These aspects of the Internet are insidious because they make harmful choices easier. Sometimes we choose to do the right thing not because we genuinely desire to do so, but because we don’t want to be seen to be making bad choices.

Because the Internet has largely removed the difficulty of acquiring pornographic materials and minimised the possibility of discovery, many Internet users face the arduous task of greater self-discipline. It’s a bit like constantly offering chocolate to a dieter and then saying “don’t eat”, or like Joseph inviting Potipher’s wife to be always available, but to keep his coat handy. Now that pornography is just a click away, greater temptations face anyone drawn to these images.

Ultimately, Christians wish not only to think God’s thoughts after Him, but to see with God’s eyes, viewing the opposite sex as human beings made in God’s image. When we follow Christ in the realm of our sexual desires, we enhance faithfulness in marriage and strengthen friendship outside of marriage. Like all pleasure, sex can be a source of joy, frustration, or tragedy. Believing in God’s good intent, we commit ourselves to honour God’s boundaries — even though these limits are usually transgressed by our image-saturated, body-glorifying, sex-obsessed culture.

The answer to today’s cultural trends is not to try to return to the 1950s. Parents now tend to talk more openly with their children, and that is a significant improvement over times when boys and girls received their sex education in the street. Still, we must face our current problems.

Christians should follow Paul’s advice to develop God’s sight by choosing to view whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, or admirable (Phil. 4: 8).

Reasons to avoid porn: Most arguments against pornography have to do with consequences. If we accept that God’s good gifts of sex and marriage are to be valued and protected, we will be concerned about choices that destroy sexual virtue. Here are four reasons to be concerned:

1. Pornography obscures the sin of mistreating our neighbour.
   
   Because all women are the “neighbours” of men (and men of women), they should be treated respectfully, not as objects for personal pleasure. If we are to “avoid sexual immorality” (1 Thess. 4:3), what are we to make of any medium that portrays human bodies as mere objects? These “objects of lust” are real people. To reduce them to body parts and sexual performance tools dehumanizes them.
   
   Some would argue that these images are not people, and therefore cannot be violated. But can we so easily separate our treatment of photographic images and people made in God’s image?
   
   Others are also mistreated by pornography, including those who feel shame and disgust when they happen to see degrading images, and those who feel betrayed and victimized when a spouse or friend accesses scenes that should be restricted to spousal intimacy. When the biblical virtues of love, modesty, purity, and chastity are suppressed by lust, exhibitionism, decadence, and promiscuity, all those involved are hurt.
   
   If, before marriage, we see each other only as sexual objects, how will we stop doing so once we are married? What will happen in relationships with people other than one’s spouse? A life free of pornography predisposes us to love our neighbours better as thinking and feeling human beings.
    
2. Pornography normalizes and invites sexual immorality.
   
   In the digitally manipulated world of centerfolds, the human body is smoothed to “perfection” defined in limited (often surgically enhanced) shapes, and displayed in ways that encourage fantasy “relationships”. Premarital intercourse, adultery, multiple-partner sex, homosexuality, and bi-sexuality are graphically displayed and promoted, dulling the viewer’s conscience.
   
   Many viewers say that after indulging in pornography, they think of the opposite sex almost exclusively in sexual terms, judging them physically and fantasizing about sex acts. If we think promiscuously, when will these thoughts lead to actions?
    
3. Pornography that contains violence stimulates aggressive behaviour.
   
   Decades of research show that viewers of violent pornography become more aggressive towards females who anger them. Many viewers who could not imagine themselves stooping to sexual violence find themselves gradually accepting what they watch, and believing the participants deserve what they get. While few viewers become sexual criminals, many suffer losses in gentleness and sensitivity, self-control and patience. In addition, the consumer of pornography supports an industry that habitually uses violence against those who pose.
    
4. Pornography can injure fidelity and intimacy in marriage.
   
   Several studies show that exposure to non-violent sexually explicit materials results in higher expectations for sexual activity, higher tolerance for deviant forms of sexual experience, lower esteem for women rated as “average” in attractiveness, and less satisfaction in the level of love for one’s spouse. Young people may falsely assume they are “getting sexual experimentation out of their system” when they are actually building patterns that can significantly hamper their future.

According to researcher Patrick Carnes, pornography-viewing often becomes a habit, even an addiction. What if one’s spouse is deeply hurt by this focus on others’ bodies? How can any relationship live up to a fantasy, since by definition a fantasy is about one person exercising absolute control?

In many ways, pornography challenges the marriage covenant. Faithfulness includes the mind, a perspective Jesus addressed when he observed that “anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matt. 5: 28).

Building a community: An individualistic drive for sensual happiness overrides community values. A community, notes author Wendell Berry, “lives and acts by common virtues of trust, goodwill, forbearance, self-restraint, compassion, and forgiveness.” These are not the values that motivate pornography-viewing.

Berry adds that the most critically damaged aspect of moderns life is sexual love, for “sexual love is the heart of community life”. How so? A healthy sexual love teaches that even intense personal pleasures must include sensitivity to others’ needs; sexual discipline provides a liberating security for all members of a community; and children are enriched when their parents show genuine affection for each other.

Pornography, however, promotes immediate gratification, sexual conquest, and perhaps most importantly, fantasy that competes with the truth. Instead of “harmless fun”, viewing pornography is a choice toward illusion and a neglect of the troubling negotiations of real intimacy.

We may forget that turning toward something also means turning away from something else. When a husband gives his sexual imagination to a pornographic image, he subtly moves away from loving his wife. Eventually, those in “fantasy relationships” may prefer a self-absorbed erotic life over the intimacies of a spouse who is not controllable. Perhaps we are all “strong enough” to have hundreds of imaginary affairs and maintain sexual faithfulness. But the testimonies of those in broken marriages attest otherwise. Many relationships have enough trouble without the influence of pornography. The ease of accessing Internet images is not likely to improve things.

All our intellect, all our imagination, all our physical attributes and actions, are under the pre-eminence of Christ. To be a disciple is to love one’s neighbours as they should be loved, within the boundaries God has set for us.

With that goal in mind, all Christians would be wiser not to take Internet pornography lightly. Certainly all Internet users should know what they believe is acceptable and unacceptable.

For followers of Christ, the Internet is an opportunity to exercise faith — which includes trusting the admonitions of Scripture, believing that God’s love is greater than the empty embrace of a photographic image, and committing to consistent repentance and acceptance of forgiveness.

In a community of believers, choosing reality over illusion may mean cutting off access to the Internet, installing porn-blocking software, or intentionally holding each other accountable through confession and prayer. Good books and counselling can help. The Internet itself offers sites to assist those struggling with pornography.

Managing temptation: Ryan’s dad referred to managing his temptation as a “long and difficult road”. As the metaphor plays itself out, two important implications are clear.

First, staying on the right road means staying off the wrong roads — the ones that look attractive but hide potholes, predators, or a drop-off to certain destruction. Some of us need to be honest and admit we are already travelling these wrong roads.

Second, staying on the right road requires focusing on our destination. When we are approaching home after a long trip away, the side streets aren’t very tempting.

For Christians, that’s ultimately where we are headed: home. The same Jesus who promised us a room in his Father’s house said that he would be with us until we arrive safely.

Our goal in life is not to “avoid looking at pornography” but to be so involved in our journey with Jesus that the streets of heaven are more attractive than anything else. Maybe the confession of Ryan’s father is the best first step on that journey.