Ministering to the Young Adults
Ministering to the Young Adults
One of the areas in our Christian Reformed Churches that is most often a concern to the elders is the area of what is called "the young adults". This group of young people are roughly described as between high school graduation and marriage. In conversations with elders from almost any Christian Reformed Church, sooner or later the discussion will turn to this group in the church. How do you deal with the young adults?
Helping a Neglected Group⤒🔗
The particular problem that troubles most consistories is that this group of young people is often left out in the cold by the program of the church. There are catechism and Sunday School for the grade school and high school age. There is the Young People's Society for high school young people. And of course when young people get married there are societies both for men and women, as well as the couple's clubs. But what is there for this in-between age? Many Churches are finding success in organizing Young Adult groups which supply the need for organizations for this age group.
Personal Problems←⤒🔗
However the problem is not only that there are no organizations for this group. That is, after all, a formal, structural concern that is easily remedied by the introduction of Young Adult Societies. The problem that most consistories are concerned about is more acute in that many of these young adults drop out of the church structure entirely. They fail to make profession of faith. They do not attend church as faithfully as they should. Some of them become involved with drinking, drugs, and immorality. Sometimes encouraging all of this is the tendency among many young adults to leave home, and live in apartments or elsewhere even though they still work in the same areas as their parental homes. Now I do not at all suggest that those who no longer live at home are doing a terrible thing. Circumstances may be very different from the situation some years ago when it was unheard of for unmarried young people to live away from home. We obviously must take that into consideration. Nor may we paint all young people with the same brush, and charge them with drinking, drug abuse, or immorality simply because they happen to live in apartments rather than at home. The point of this article, and the concern of both parents and consistories is with those young people who are living disorderly lives, whether they live at home or not. Is there anything that can touch these particular young people?
Personal Visiting←⤒🔗
It is certainly true that the greatest need that these people have is for the working of the Holy Spirit in their lives. The opening of their hearts to see their sinful life style, and the leading of the Holy Spirit through His Word to a renewal of spiritual interest — these are the things we all pray for. But is there something that we can do to promote these things?
I would like to make a suggestion that has been used successfully in some churches. A kind of "family visiting" has been held with these young people individually. This is not the regular family visiting to which we are accustomed. This is a kind of specialized visit in which we try to "get under the skin" of these young people. It is often felt by some of these young adults, I think, that older people are very naive about the activities of the young people. And maybe there is justification for that feeling. When regular family visiting is carried on, if a young adult is present (although the kind of young people we are talking about here are most generally not at home for family visiting), deep, personal questions are not usually asked of him. And the result is that he often thinks that the elders and minister really don't know anything about what is really happening in the world of the young adult. However, in visits between an elder, the minister, and the young adult by himself, these searching questions can be asked. And the life style of the young person can be explored, often with an openness and candor that is not possible in a larger group. In such visits, we have talked about the drinking of some of these people, and they have told me that they do drink, and some have said that they regularly get drunk. We have talked about their relationship with their girl friends and boyfriends, and some have told me that they have engaged in pre-marital sexual relationships. This kind of candor could never be achieved in the presence of their parents. For many of these people, it is the first time that anyone other than their friends has talked to them about their lives.
The Purpose←⤒🔗
The point of such visits is certainly not just to get these young people to open up. It is to point them to the Lord Jesus Christ. It is to attempt to show them from the Word of God that their life styles are not in accordance with what God commands to us. It is to warn them of the evils of drinking, of drug usage, and of sexual immorality. But at the same time it is to show the marvelous grace of a forgiving God who receives the prodigal son back again. We have had occasions where some of these young people have come through such visits to confess their sins, and to express the desire to meet with the consistory to make confession of their faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. Unfortunately this is not always the result of such visits. But at least an opening has been made, and the young person has found that the Church is concerned for his spiritual and eternal welfare.
There are no easy solutions to the problems that some young adults have. And the way some churches have tried to deal with these problems is not guaranteed to be successful. But it is a way of doing something in an area that all too often is neglected by the church. We can be indeed thankful to God that many if not most of the young adults are truly Christian young people who love the Lord and take an active interest in the church. But for the others, this is at least a way to express the concern of consistories and parents and to try to help them.
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