Read John 15:9-17.

Introduction⤒🔗

There was a popular song entitled, “That’s What Friends Are For.” The words of the re-occurring refrain proclaimed:

You can count on me, for sure.
In good times, in bad times, I’ll
be on your side forevermore;
‘Cause that’s what friends are for.

Those words are a very fit description of Christ’s commitment to us; a very fit description of His expression of friendship to us. But are those words also a fit description of our commitment to Christ? Are they a fit description of our expression of reciprocal friendship to Him?

The old familiar hymn, “What a Friend We Have in Jesus,” is one of our favorites. Here we have a hymn praising Jesus for His loyal friendship to us: “What a Friend we have in Jesus! Can we find a friend so faithful?” But can the roles be reversed? Can Jesus testify the same about us?

We rejoice and take great comfort in the fact that the Lord Jesus Christ offers His friendship to us: “I no longer call you servants...But I have called you friends” (Jn. 15:15)

But do we appreciate the fact that the Lord Jesus also expects and demands that we reciprocate by offering our friendship and commitment to Him in return? “You are my friends, if you do the things I command you” (Jn. 15:14).

Can true friendship ever be a one-way affair? Is there not always the need for mutual commitment and self-giving love?

James Small understood this correctly when he wrote these words:

I’ve found a Friend, O such a Friend!
He bled, He died, to save me;
And not alone the gift of life,
But His own self He gave me!

Nought that I have my own I’ll call,
I’ll hold it for the Giver,
My heart, my strength, my life, my all
Are His, and His forever.

Jesus declares, “You are my friends, if you do the things I command you.” If we would maintain an intimate relationship of friendship with Christ, we must offer our obedience unto Him.

True Friendship with Christ Is Characterized by Loving Obedience to Him←⤒🔗

Our Lord informs us that His love for each of His disciples is patterned after the Father’s love for Him: “Just as the Father has loved me, I also have loved you” (vs. 9a). Scripture indicates that this is a self-revealing love: “the Father loves the Son and, [therefore], shows him everything that he is doing” (Jn. 5:20a). In the same way, Jesus loves His disciples: “I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from my Father” (Jn. 15:15b). The Apostle Paul informs the Corinthians,

⁹Things that the eye has not seen and the ear has not heard and that have not entered into the heart of man, these are the things God has prepared for those who love him. ¹⁰But God has revealed these things to us by the Spirit; for the Spirit fathoms all things, even the deep things of God...¹⁶[Just as it is written], “Who has known the mind of the LORD, that he may instruct him?” But we have the mind of Christ. 1 Cor. 2:9-10,16

Furthermore, the love that the Father has for the Son is a self-giving love: “The Father loves the Son and has placed everything in his hands” (Jn. 3:35). In the Book of Revelation, the Lord Jesus testifies, “To him who overcomes I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne” (Rev. 3:21).

In the latter part of verse nine, Christ exhorts His disciples, “abide in my love.” The Christian has the responsibility, (which he can only carry out as he relies on the grace of God), to maintain his relationship with Christ. As the Apostle Jude writes to the church: “beloved...keep yourselves in the love of God.” Jude explains that the Christian does so “by building yourselves up on your most holy faith, and by praying by the Holy Spirit” (Jude 20-21).

Thus, Scripture teaches that the Christian is to build the “superstructure” of the Christian life upon the “foundation” of our faith in Jesus Christ, as the Apostle Peter exhorts the church:

³His divine power has given us everything pertaining to life and godliness... ⁵Now, for this very reason, giving all your effort, add virtue to your faith, and add knowledge to virtue, ⁶and add self-control to knowledge, and add perseverance to self-control, and add godliness to perseverance, ⁷and add brotherly affection to godliness, and add love to brotherly affection. 2 Pet. 1:3,5-7

Furthermore, we are to be engaged in prayer, praying in communion with the Holy Spirit as He reveals His mind and will to us in the Scriptures. This type of praying also involves reliance upon the Holy Spirit: “the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know for what we ought to pray, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express” (Rom. 8:26).

In addition to building upon the “foundation” of our faith in Jesus Christ and praying in reliance upon the Holy Spirit, Jude also calls us to “look for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ for eternal life.” That is to say, we are to be found anticipating the return of Christ and living our present lives in the light of that great day: living our lives from the perspective of Christ’s return, not from the perspective of merely earthly goals and ambitions, or simply, mundane day to day existence.

Our Lord Jesus goes on to explicitly declare that, as disciples, we are to remain in His love by keeping His commandments: “If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love” (vs. 10a). Obedience does not bring us into the covenant of grace and into citizenship in the kingdom of God; it is by Holy Spirit-produced obedience that we abide in Christ. Obedience is the obligation of the covenant, as is indicated, for instance, in Psalm 103:17-18,

...the lovingkindness of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting upon those who fear him, and his righteousness is with their children’s children; ¹⁸with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts.

As the Apostle Paul points out, obedience is one of the great purposes for which we have been redeemed:

⁸It is by grace that you have been saved through faith, and this is not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; ⁹it is not of works, therefore, no one can boast. ¹⁰We are his handiwork, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared in advance in order for us to walk in them. Eph. 2:8-10

Our Lord explains that the way of obedience is precisely the means by which He Himself continues to remain in His Father’s love: “If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love” (Jn. 15:10). Christ wants us to know that what He requires of us is not anything more than what He Himself renders to His Father in heaven: this is the obligation of the covenant, the obligation of a faithful child of God. Even as Christ makes this requirement of us, so we can rely upon Him to supply the grace to comply with it: “apart from me you can do nothing” (Jn. 15:5b)

True Friendship with Christ Results in Reciprocal Joy←⤒🔗

Our Lord Jesus instructs us to keep His commandments, and thereby abide in His love, in order that we may be a source of joy to Him: “I have told you these things so that my joy may be in you” (vs. 11a). When Jesus speaks of His joy being in us He is referring to the fact that our loving commitment to Him, expressed in the keeping of His commandments, brings joy to Him: faithful, obedient disciples are a source of joy to Christ.

Conversely, a life of self-indulgence, neglect of His commandments, and outright rebellion, brings grief to the Lord’s heart. When He considered His disobedient people, the LORD lamented:

Oh, that I had in the wilderness a lodging place for wayfaring men; that I might leave my people and go from them; for they are all adulterers, an assembly of treacherous [i.e. unfaithful] men. ³And like their bow, they have bent their tongues for lies. They are not valiant for the truth in the land; for they proceed from evil to evil, and they do not know me, says the LORD.Jer. 9:2-3

When the LORD looked down on rebellious mankind in the days of Noah, “he was grieved in his heart:”

And the LORD saw that the wickedness of man was great upon the earth, and that every conception of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. ⁶And the LORD repented that he had made man on the earth, and it brought grief to his heart. Gen. 6:5-6

In Genesis 6:6, Scripture expresses the fact that evil conduct encounters God’s righteous and perpetual displeasure—His most intense revulsion towards evil, whereas obedience encounters His most intense delight. No change has, or could, occur with regard to God’s immutable moral attributes; it is precisely because those attributes are immutable that evil conduct elicits a different response from the Almighty than does obedience.

God’s “repenting” of having created beings who have devoted themselves to evil is expressing His perpetual abhorrence of evil, as that holy abhorrence manifests itself in the presence of the evil perpetrated by creatures whom He intended to exhibit and reflect His righteousness.

In contrast to the world, which exhibits its hatred for both the Son and the Father (Jn. 15:24b), Christ desires to find in His disciples a source of joy. A joy that is derived from the pleasure and satisfaction of seeing them exhibit a loving commitment to Him, their Lord and Savior—and Friend (Jn. 15:15).

Our Lord furthermore instructs us to offer obedience to Him because such obedience is also a source of joy to us: “I have told you these things so that...your joy may be made full” (vs. 11b). What Christ is speaking about here is the joy of holding fellowship with both the Son and the Father, a fellowship that is based upon obedience to Christ’s commandments. It is the wonderful joy of which the Psalmist writes, “In your presence is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures for evermore” (Psl. 16:11).

True joy and happiness will always elude us until we realize that they are the by-products of obedience to Christ. The pathway of obedience leads to joy, as the Apostle Paul informs the church at Rome: “the kingdom of God is...a matter...of righteousness, peace and joy by the Holy Spirit” (Rom. 14:17). Note that peace and joy succeed righteousness and are the result of it. The Book of Hebrews presents the Lord Jesus Himself as an example:

Let us focus our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Heb. 12:2

The pathway of obedience may entail “hacking” our way through “the underbrush” of trial and temptation, but that path always leads to a paradise of divine joy. Conversely, the pathway of disobedience eventually leads to misery: “the way of the transgressor is hard” (Prov. 13:15b). By way of illustration: the “juicy raspberries” of sin look so tempting and desirable, but as we reach for them we lose our balance and tumble into an awful “briar patch.”

True Friendship with Christ Is Expressed in Brotherly Love←⤒🔗

In the previous verses our Lord has spoken of His love for us as His disciples and the way in which we are to exhibit a reciprocal love for Him. Now in verses 12-15 He focuses our attention upon one specific commandment, one specific way we are to render obedience to Him, the commandment to practice brotherly love: “My commandment is that you love one another” (vs. 12a).

This commandment has been a central concern of our Lord throughout this final evening together with His disciples. It was first introduced in John 13:31-35,

³³Little children, I will be with you for only a little while longer. You will miss me; but what I told the Jews, I now tell you, Where I am going, you cannot come. ³⁴I give you a new commandment, Love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also must love one another. ³⁵All men shall know that you are my disciples if you have love for one another. Jn. 13:33-35

Now our Lord again come back to it; it is a central concern of Christ for His church. This love for one another as fellow Christians is to be patterned after our Lord’s own love for us: “My commandment is that you love one another, just as I have loved you” (vs. 12).

Our Lord’s love for us is first of all a sacrificial love: “No one has any greater love than to lay down his life for his friends” (vs. 13). Love for our brothers and sisters in Christ may mean the sacrifice of our time, our comfort, our personal interests, plans and desires, our resources:

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others higher than yourselves. ⁴Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.Phil. 2:3-4

¹⁶This is how we know what love is: he laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. ¹⁷If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? ¹⁸Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. 1 Jn. 3:16-18

Love for our brothers and sisters in Christ may mean the sacrifice of our pride, our wounded spirit, our sense of moral indignation against offenses perpetrated against us:

¹²Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. ¹³Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Col. 3:12-13

Secondly, our Lord’s love for us is the intimate love of friendship:

I no longer call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing. But I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from my Father. Jn. 15:15

We are not able to become intimate friends with all the members of Christ’s body throughout the world, or even in one given place. But we can and should develop close and caring friendships with some of them, and we should stand ready to befriend each and any one of them.

The Book of Proverbs reveals to us some of the characteristics of a true friend. From Proverbs we learn that a true friend is one that demonstrates commitment: “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity” (Prov. 17:17). Consider the example of Jonathan and David. Jonathan exhibited his friendship for David even in the face of the evil wrath of his father and despite the prospect of losing the throne of Israel:

¹Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself... ³And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. ⁴Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt.1 Sam. 18:1,3-4

Consider David’s eulogy for Jonathan:

I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother; you were very dear to me. Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women. 2 Sam. 1:26

A time of adversity is when you really need a friend, and that is when you discover who will prove himself to be a true friend. Cherish the friend who demonstrates true commitment, and be such a friend to fellow Christians.

Furthermore, a true friend is one that is willing to confront us with godly counsel: “An open rebuke is better than love that is hidden. ⁶The wounds inflicted by a friend are given in faithfulness, but the kisses of an enemy are profuse” (Prov. 27:5-6).

The “wounds” inflicted by a friend are referring to the words of rebuke spoken by a true friend for your welfare. Here is the mark by which to gauge a true friend: Does he love you enough to rebuke you when you are in the wrong? Such rebuke demonstrates his commitment to God and his commitment to you.

Conversely, beware of flattery, for it is deceitful. Such words conceal an ulterior motive: “A man who flatters his neighbor is spreading a net for his feet” (Prov. 29:5). Such words reveal an uncommitted heart: “the kisses of an enemy are profuse” (Prov. 27:6). An enemy may display a great show of affection and affirmation, but in fact his heart is not for you.

What counsel does Scripture give about administering and receiving a rebuke? In giving a rebuke we are to “speak the truth in love” (Eph. 4:15). By the grace of God, we are also to be ready and willing to receive a sincere and well-meant rebuke. When we stand in need of a rebuke, and a true Christian friend administers that necessary rebuke in love, may we be like the Psalmist: “Let a righteous man strike me, it is a kindness; let him rebuke me, it is oil on my head. My head will not refuse it” (Psl. 141:5a).

In addition to Proverbs 27:5-6, we may also take note of Proverbs 27:17, “As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the expression of his friend.” “Iron sharpens iron;” when you scrape iron against iron you take off the dullness and make it razor sharp. Likewise, as a man interacts with his friend, exchanging insights, receiving counsel and rebuke when necessary, being challenged by his godly example, the man’s “expression,” literally, his “countenance,” is sharpened. Note: The “countenance” refers to the face and its expression as it reveals the mood and character of the person.

May we be Christian friends who provoke one another in the way described in Hebrews 10:24, “Let us consider how we may provoke one another to love and good deeds.”

Conclusion←⤒🔗

Jesus declares, “You are my friends, if you do the things I command you” (Jn. 15:14). If we would maintain an intimate relationship of friendship with the Lord Jesus Christ, we must commit ourselves to Him in obedience to His commandments. Let us recognize that such commitment is a source of joy for our Lord, and it results in the experience of true joy in our own lives as well.

Discussion Questions←⤒🔗

1. Jesus’ love for us, His disciples, is patterned after whose love for Him? See Jn. 15:9a. How does the Father express His love for the Son? See Jn. 5:20. As a Christian, are you experiencing this deep, self-sharing love the Lord Jesus has for you? If not, what is hindering you from experiencing it?

Just as the Father has loved me, I also have loved you; abide in my love. (Jn. 15:9) ...the Father loves the Son, and shows him all things that he himself does... Jn. 5:20

2. How do we as Christians abide in Christ’s love and deepen our relationship with Him? See Jn. 15:9b-10. How are we enabled to comply with our Lord’s requirement? Note Jn. 15:5. To whom must we turn when we are tempted to betray our Lord by yielding to temptation? See Heb. 2:18,

Just as the Father has loved me, I also have loved you; abide in my love. ¹⁰If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love; just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. Jn. 15:9-10

I am the vine, you are the branches. The one who abides in me and I in him, he is the one who bears much fruit; for apart from me you can do nothing. Jn. 15:5

For in that he himself has suffered, by being tempted, he is able to aid those who are tempted. Heb. 2:18

3. Even though we love our Lord, do we always comply with His commandments? Note Matt. 26:41b. What consolation do we have? See Lk. 22:31-32. When we become discouraged by our struggles with sin, what must we remember? See 1 Cor. 1:4, 8-9. When we become negligent in this process of sanctification, what can we expect? Note Isa. 30:21,

Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak. Matt. 26:41

And the Lord said, 'Simon, Simon! Indeed, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat. ³²ButI have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to me, strengthen your brethren.' Lk. 22:31-32

⁴I always thank my God for you, because of the grace of God that was given to you in Christ Jesus... ⁸[God] will also confirm you to the end, so that you may be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. ⁹God is faithful, by whom you were called into the fellowship of his Son Jesus Christ our Lord. 1 Cor. 1:4, 8-9

And when you turn [aside] to the right or to the left, with your ears you will hear a voice behind you saying, This is the way, walk in it. Isa. 30:21

The LORD is here speaking of the Holy Spirit’s guiding and coercing work of grace in the life of the Christian.

4. Why has the Lord Jesus shared “these things” (i.e. the call to abide in His love by keeping His commandments) with His disciples? See Jn. 15:11. Christian, do you realized that the keeping of His commandments brings joy to our Lord’s heart and makes you the source of His joy? Do you ever think in terms of making Jesus happy? Is it your desire to hear your Lord address to you words of joyful satisfaction (cf. Matt. 25:21), just as His Father addressed such words to Him (cf. Mk. 1:11)? As we comply with our Lord’s commandments, and by so doing bring joy to His heart, what do we experience? See Jn. 15:11b; Note Rom. 14:17,

I have told you these things so that my joy may be in you and your joy may be made full. (Jn. 15:11)

His lord said to him, 'Well done, good and faithful servant; you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.' Matt. 25:21

Then a voice came from heaven, 'You are my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.' Mk. 1:11

...the kingdom of God is...righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. Rom. 14:17

5. What is one specific way we can bring joy to our Lord? See Jn. 15:12a. With what kind of love did our Lord Jesus love us? See Jn. 15:12b. How is one way we can express that sacrificial love for our brethren in Christ? See 1 Jn. 3:17-18. What is another way? See Col. 3:12-13,

My commandment is that you love one another, just as I have loved you. Jn. 15:12

But whoever has this world's goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him? ¹⁸My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth. 1 Jn. 3:17-18

Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, long-suffering; ¹³bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.Col. 3:12-13