What Are Our Standards?⤒🔗

Society at large has lost its moorings as to what is right and wrong. Everywhere we look it is obvious that society's standards are changing and declining. We often like to discuss the various issues that are being debated in the public square while we hold our collective noses. It is easy to see how our country and the world are in moral decline, but the sad reality is that we, in the Christian community, are not immune to this moral decay. And we don't always see it!

One of the reasons we are not as aware of our decline is because we use the world's standards to measure ours. We often pride ourselves in thinking that our standards are better than the world's standards and conclude that we are doing okay. This, however, is very dangerous. Our perspective of right and wrong is not supposed to come from the world, but from the Word of God. His Word should be our guide for teaching Christian virtues to the next generation.

Perhaps we have allowed ourselves to become too complacent when it comes to what is acceptable. We need to get back to basics and start focusing on virtues as they are taught in Scripture. Virtues such as respect, responsibility, honesty, self-discipline, diligence, perseverance, generosity, compassion, faithfulness, civility and courtesy, all need to be taught. Instead of being influenced by the secular worldview all around us, we need to be conformed to God's standards. He never gives us a right to live lower than the standard He has set.

Differing Views←⤒🔗

There are various reasons as to why we don't expect our children to behave better. Some say that we are expecting too much and they have a whole host of excuses for why our children behave as they do. We hear excuses such as: "you were young once," "they're all children of Adam, so what can we expect," or "don't worry, they're all in the covenant and after they have sown their wild oats they will be back." None of these excuses are helpful, nor are they biblical.

There are also some who have the idea that our children need to be dealt with much more severely. Such an approach often lacks love. As one author put it: "pun­ishment by itself does not restore and cor­rect. It often leads to more anger and frus­tration." We need to be careful not to fall into the trap of just trying to get children to behave. If we have their compliance but not their heart what have we really gained?

God's Standards←⤒🔗

We have seen that raising children with a cold, iron fist is not the answer because it only leads to anger and frustration. But setting standards lower than what God has set, can lead to giving children a false sense of satisfaction when they keep these standards. If children are able to meet the standards on their own, then the standards are not God's standards. Tedd Tripp, in his book Shepherding a Child's Heart, writes:

You cannot with integrity tell your child that if he tries hard enough, if he is good enough, if he really wants it, he can be what God has called him to be. He can't. It is not native to him apart from God's grace and enablement. Nor can you make the more common mistake. You cannot try to build good qualities of character within him without reference to God. Many people conclude that if my child is not a believer, I cannot urge him to his duty in light of who God is.

Tripp goes on to say,

If you don't call him to be what God has called him to be, you end up giving him a standard of performance that is within the realm of his native abilities apart from grace. It is a standard that does not require knowing and trusting God. It, therefore, drives him away from rather than to God. In other words, you either call your children to be what they cannot be apart from grace, or you reduce the standard, giving them one they can keep. If you do that, you reduce their need for God accordingly.

Children need God's grace to walk in the ways they are being taught, but the same goes for those who are teaching. Both parents and teachers need to teach virtues, both formally and informally, but we also need to be examples of that teaching. Modelling virtues is the most difficult part of teaching virtues, but it is also the part that will either confirm or confuse the teaching in the minds and hearts of the children. Perhaps this poem sums it up well:

  Leading by Example
I'd rather see a sermon
than hear one — any day.
I'd rather one should walk with me,
than merely show the way.
The eye's a better pupil
and more willing than the ear;
Fine counsel is confusing,
but example is always clear.
The best of all the preachers
are the men who live their creeds,
For, to see the good in action
is what everybody needs.
I can say, I'll learn how to do it
if you'll let me see it done;
I can watch your hand in action,
but your tongue too fast may run.
Although the lectures you deliver
may be very wise and true,
I'd rather learn my lesson
by observing what you do;
For I may misunderstand you
and the fine advice you give,
But there's no misunderstanding
how you act and how you live.

Author Unknown

Duties of Parents and Teachers←⤒🔗

Scripture has much to tell us about training our children and although most of it is directed at parents, teachers basically share the role of parents in teaching children, so it would apply to both. One example of this instruction comes from God right after he had given the Ten Commandments to the Israelites, many of them dealing with honesty, respecting authority and other virtues. In chapter 6 of Deuteronomy, God instructs the Israelites, and us,

And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.

Deuteronomy 6:6-8

Parents and teachers should teach biblical virtues at every opportunity. God has set His standards and revealed them to us. We are called to follow after Him.

We also know both from Scripture and our own experience that Satan is not content to let us walk in God's way and is doing all he can to dissuade us. Let us not yield to him but rather let us fight the good fight in God's strength, "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand" (Eph. 6:12, 13).

Whatever the times we live in, the weapons at our disposal for keeping God's standards remain the same: the instruction of God's Word, fervent prayer and constant watchfulness.