How to Date, Critical Questions
How to Date, Critical Questions
In past issues we have considered companionship and its Biblical guidelines. We have considered negatives and positives in dating. More recently we examined the necessity of guidance from parents. In this issue we will give answers to four critical questions. Since you and I are always under the watchful eye of an all-seeing God, these four questions need proper answers.
Where are we going?⤒🔗
An evening with an open-ended agenda can be very dangerous. In everything you do, God's approval is essential. You and I must give an account of what we say, think, and do, and of the places to which we go. Thus first, plan your outings with God's approval in mind. Be mindful of God as being everywhere present. Remember, "Thou God seest me." In planning your evening with your date, have a definite place to visit. Remembering that eternity is just around the corner, keep this question before you, "If God were to come to the place I go, would He approve of it?" Forget not that death can strike us at any time. There is an old saying: An idle mind is a devil's workshop. If you have no definite place to go with your date, you most likely will be tempted to waste your time in places and pleasures which could ruin your precious soul. If your date wants to take you to a place which makes you uneasy in conscience, say "no" immediately.
What are we doing?←⤒🔗
Not only must you have a specific place to go, but you must have something specific planned for the evening. Plan an evening of activities which if engaged in and God would come, He will not catch you in a particular sin. Idleness and temptation are very close companions. Do not forget that your heart and mine are bent to pleasure and sin. If you have nothing planned, your wicked imagination will begin to run to what is most pleasurable. The result will be something that is God-dishonoring and soul-destroying. You can easily fall prey to lusting. Remember, "When lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death" ( James 1:15). Keep in mind that the purpose for dating is to find a companion in life. Therefore be aware of what he or she thinks, and what you talk about. Is there serious conversation? Do you and your date talk about religion, God, sermons, etc.?
Whom will we meet?←⤒🔗
Is the evening planned with other couples? It is wise that beginning daters not go out alone, the reason being that too often the maturity level of beginning daters is not developed sufficiently. Keep in mind that dating brings two individuals in close contact with one another. Dating alone can lead to sinful actions. A moment of pleasure can lead to a lifetime of remorse. Be aware of the company with which you are going to be. This is critical since peer pressure is great. Remember that individuals with negative character traits and bad habits can be the beginning of your downfall. Do not think that sinful influences can be easily shunned. He who plays with fire will get burned. Let him that thinketh he standeth, take heed lest he fall. Never think that the sinful actions of others will not become part of your lifestyle. Remember what Jeremiah wrote: "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?" (Jer. 17:9).
When will we be home?←⤒🔗
It is beneficial to set a curfew for yourself which your parents can accept. Too often parents have to set it. The result is that the curfew is not followed. The outcome of disobedience is lack of trust from parents to children. As young people, you will never fully grasp the anxiety of parents whose children stay out beyond their curfew. Your parents love you and care about you. Every minute over the time requested to be home causes many questions to race through your parents' minds. Good advice is that you set a specific time for being home. Communicate that to your parents. I can assure you that your taking the initiative in this matter will build a trustworthy relationship. If you can't be home at the time you have suggested, never forget to call.
Where do you go with your date? What are you doing with your date? Whom do you meet with your date? Do you arrive home at the appointed time? Is your life God-honoring or soul-destroying? Do you go to places which, if God would descend with His angels, you would be ready to meet Him? Who are your companions in life? Can you say with David: "I am a companion of all them that fear thee?" Time is God-given, are you redeeming it? Do you always remember that there is an appointment you will keep? "It is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment" (Heb. 9:27).
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