If we are to help the mentally distressed, it is important as a starting to understand the cause of their distress. This article gives examples of different causes of mental distress to help one diagnose the cause.

Source: The Banner of Sovereign Grace Truth, 2004. 5 pages.

How Are We to Judge Complaints?

We read in Psalm 41:1 that “blessed is he that considereth the poor.” In light of the original Hebrew, we could paraphrase this as follows: Blessed is he who deals cir­cumspectly or wisely with those who are in need.

Many are the miseries to which humanity is subjected due to sin. Though there are many who treat needy individuals as the priest and the Levite treated the proverbial Samaritan, yet, by the grace of God, there are some who do take the plight of needy individuals to heart and who are committed to do whatever they can to resolve the needs of those who suffer — or, if that is not possible, to alleviate their suffering.

Job, the great sufferer of the Old Testament, once uttered the heart-rending cry, “Have pity upon me, have pity upon me, O ye my friends; for the hand of God hath touched me” (Job 19:21). The friends of Job are to be commended for the fact that they visited him soon after he was overcome by grief and sorrow, not much came of their intent “to mourn with him and to comfort him” (Job 2:11). They undoubtedly came to Job with the best intentions, addressing him (also with the best intentions) as we find it recorded in Scripture. However, their words intensified Job’s suf­fering rather than alleviating it.

When they heard Job curse the day of his birth, as well as the words he uttered regarding what had befallen him, they were not able to sympathize with him. The more Job spoke, the more perplexed his friends became. They could not understand how a man who previously had instructed many and had strengthened the weak hands, whose words upheld him that was falling and strengthened the feeble knees (Job 4:3-4), who in both word and deed had exemplified godliness in such a manner that he adorned the church of God, could conduct himself as he did in his affliction.

The words of Eliphaz, “But now it is come upon thee, and thou faintest; it toucheth thee, and thou art troubled” (Job 4:5), must have wounded Job’s soul deeply. Did not Eliphaz speak the truth after all? Yes, he certainly did, but he could and should have addressed Job in a different manner — not so haughtily and mercilessly. In speaking to Job about God and His ways, these friends undoubtedly meant to do what was best for Job. Nevertheless the Lord’s assessment was that they had not spoken rightly of Him, and in doing so they caused His wrath to be kindled against them (Job 42:7). They misapplied what God had revealed concerning Himself and His ways. Since they lacked the correct insight into the cause of Job’s wretched circumstances, they did not deal wisely with him, even though they were of the opinion that they were very wise and conducted themselves very wisely.

This lack of insight manifested itself in a most painful manner for Job when they went so far as to express their doubts regarding his spiritual state and his integrity before God. Job’s experiences, added to the words he uttered, were so foreign to them that they could not arrive at any other conclusion than that what they had previously heard and seen of Job had been rank hypocrisy. They reasoned that the Lord blesses those who fear Him, and that therefore a true child of God would not experience and say such things.

Job’s friends are neither alone nor the last who have been guilty of not dealing wisely with those who are afflicted. And indeed, it is far from simple to behave one’s self wisely toward the afflicted. This is particularly true when we encounter people who, in addition to the physical, domestic, ecclesiastical, and societal trials which all people must endure, are also tried with afflictions that are psychological in nature — trials that pertain to the mind and/or one’s spiritual life. In such circumstances problems will be encountered, trials will be endured, and words will be spoken which for the inexperienced (even though they may be children or servants of God, such as Job’s friends) will not only appear perplexing, but will be deemed as being incom­patible with the fear of the Lord.

The results of not behaving wisely toward the afflicted are clearly described for us in the book of Job. Job clearly teaches us that even God’s children can behave themselves unwisely toward the afflicted. Anyone involved with counseling will be all too familiar with this. Words can inflict wounds which neither doctors nor time can heal; only the Lord can heal them, though the scars will sometimes be evident for years. All who through the use of Scripture and professional literature are involved in the challenging work of counseling will be compelled to admit that they have made mistakes — and by the grace of God will be willing to admit it. They will readily own the words of Job and say, “Therefore have I uttered that I understood not; things too wonderful for me, which I knew not .... Wherefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes” (Job 42:3, 6). With the friends of Job, they will be more than willing to ask forgiveness of those toward whom they have behaved unwisely.

How in need we are of such grace that will prompt us to utter the humble petition, “Hear, I beseech thee, and I will speak: I will demand of thee, and declare thou unto me” (Job 42:4)!

What Is the True Cause?🔗

The following anecdote will illustrate how important it is that the correct cause of mental distress be diagnosed by those who are called upon to interact with the person who is suffering — be it as a family member, a friend, or a professional counselor.

A member of one of the churches I have served once called upon me to help his wife. He believed his 45-year-old wife to be in great spiritual distress. When I asked him how long this had been the case, he informed me that his wife had been in this state of mind for quite some time. When I then inquired as to what he thought the cause of his wife’s distress was, he responded that problems of a spiritual nature were the cause of her condition. Day and night she struggled with the ques­tion: How can I be delivered from my sin and misery?

When I went to visit this woman, I found her in bed. It was very evident that she was in great distress. I soon discovered from what she and one of her older children told me that for several days she had not left her bed. She had hardly touched her breakfast of that morning, and upon further questioning it became evident that she had hardly eaten anything for quite some time. Upon my question why she had neither left her bed nor eaten anything, she responded by saying that this made no sense since she would soon die anyway. When I asked who had told her this, she stated that her feel­ings told her that it was so. Reality proved, however, that her feelings had deceived her. She lived yet many years, the last of which were far better years than when I first visited her — at least as far as her spiritual life was concerned.

Believing that she was going to die and not being spiritually prepared to die caused this woman to be overcome with spiritual anxiety. It was a heart-rend­ing experience to witness and hear what was transpiring in the life of this poor woman and her fam­ily. She did not dare to believe a word of encouragement or comfort. When she thought of God, she could only utter words of distress. For her it was true, “The thought of God brought me no peace, but rather made my fears increase; with sleepless eyes and speechless pain my fainting spirit grieved in vain; the blessedness of long ago made deeper still my present woe” (Psalter 210:2; cf. Ps. 77). Her soul refused to be comforted (Ps. 77:3), since she was convinced that there was no ground for such comfort. In her judgment she had sinned so long and so grievously; she was such a poor wife to her husband and had been such a deficient mother to her children. Thus she neither could nor dared to believe that there was one word of encour­agement for her in the Bible.

During one of my many visits, I asked her husband and children whether she, as a wife and a mother, had truly failed as miserably as she claimed. They responded unanimously that they did not deem this to be the case. On the contrary, even in the church, she had the reputation of being a very devoted wife and mother who was engaged day and night on behalf of her family. Many (including myself) believed that she was a woman who truly feared the Lord — and I believe that the peaceful end of her turbulent life confirmed this. However, the fact that others believed this con­cerning her was of no benefit to her in the spiritual agony she was enduring. What troubled her more than anything else was that in her own estimation she was not penitent enough. She tried hard to bring herself to the point where she could feel herself to be submissive to God’s justice if He would cause her to perish.

Intellectually she acquiesced in the fact that God could righteously condemn her for her sins, but she could not get her heart to do likewise. Day and night she was preoccupied with trying to bring herself to the place where she would wholeheartedly, without inter­ruption, justify the Lord in all His doings — even though there were moments, though rare and short-lived, that she could discern within herself a bowing before God’s just judgment. Her greatest agony was that she could not come to the place where she wanted to be — where she and others were convinced she had to come before there could be any change for the better.

Some sincere children of God believed that the con­dition of this woman was caused by the fact that the Lord was preparing her for what is referred to as “being justified in the court of one’s conscience.” (We understand this to mean, that in the court of conscience, a person acquires the full assurance of the pardon of his sins for the sake of the suffering and death of the Lord Jesus Christ.) They communicated this to this woman, informing her of all the things she would have to expe­rience before this would come to pass.

She, being so desirous to acquire such assurance, fully accepted this explanation of her wretched condi­tion, and thus she did her utmost to expedite the process. She did everything in her power to stimulate an increased sense of guilt — and she succeeded in this. This was a sign, according to her friends, that the hour of deliverance was near. These friends did everything they could to counsel her in such a manner that she would thereby be prepared for the imminent deliver­ance from bondage by the Word and Spirit of the Lord. They believed that this would then be the crowning piece of the work of the Lord in this woman.

She and her friends all rejected the possibility that there could be other causes contributing to her troubled state. However, the more I visited her and the more I probed to find the true cause of her condition, the more convinced I was that physical factors were contribut­ing to her troubled state. Increasingly I felt that in addition to divine intervention this person also needed psychiatric help to be delivered from her bondage. I became convinced that the woman and her friends were mistaken in their assessment of her condition. I believed more and more that the present spiritual problems of this woman were of a psychological origin.

The woman and her friends did not share this view when I communicated it very cautiously to them. This greatly hindered me in the pastoral care I sought to pro­vide. In spite of all the care this woman received, her condition deteriorated. She spent most of her time in bed. This obviously resulted in a very stressful situation for her family. When I suggested that her physician should be consulted, I encountered much resistance. She insisted that the doctor could not make her better, for he would not be able to deliver her from her sins. Only the Lord could do this. She insisted, “I am not sick; I am only concerned because of my sins. Only the Lord can help me. It is only because of my spiritual problems that I am so miserable. When I am delivered from them, everything will be solved and I will be better. Perhaps the doctor will prescribe medication that will make me drowsy. Perhaps he will send me to a psychiatrist and from there to a psychiatric hospital. I do not want that. This is not necessary, and I may not do it, for then I would turn to man for deliverance. I will persevere in prayer and the reading of the Bible.”

Several weeks transpired before I finally decided to take action. I gave her family the opportunity to seek the intervention of their physician before 5:00 p.m. on a given day. I informed her that if her family would fail to do so, then I would step in. I told her that before God I would take full responsibility for this decision — and thus neither she nor her husband would be responsi­ble. If things were to turn out wrong, I would bear the consequences.

To my great joy, the husband informed me that night that he had contacted the doctor. He in turn referred her to a Christian psychiatrist, and the fol­lowing day already, the woman received the medication she needed for the restoration of her health. She was not admitted to a psychiatric hospital, and slowly but surely her spiritual concerns were reduced to normal proportions. The Lord gave deliverance — but with measure and in an entirely different manner than this woman and others had anticipated.

I am still of the opinion that the problems this woman encountered were related to hormonal changes (she was approximately 45 years of age). It is a known fact that hormonal changes in the body can precipitate serious mental distress. I was pleased when I recently heard from a medical professor that within medical circles there is a growing consensus that not only women but also men may experience such a period of transi­tion during this time of life.

When we are subjected to mental stress, our religious experiences will be affected accordingly. When our mental condition is such that we can no longer deal with life’s problems in a normal fashion, we will also not be able to deal normally with matters pertaining to our spiritual well-being. There will then be neurotic feelings of guilt and anxiety which do not proceed from God, but from our mental state. Such feelings require a different approach than normal convictions of sin, righteousness, and judgment, which are the fruit of the saving ministry of the Holy Spirit.

Can the convicting ministry of the Holy Spirit in the heart of a believer be accompanied by clinical symptoms of mental distress? Most certainly! Having said that, it is entirely wrong to relegate all concern about guilt and sin to the category of mental disturbances. First of all, this is not true, and secondly, this is not the way to counsel those who are troubled because of their sins. Experience teaches us that the Lord frequently uses times of stress and illness, also those of a psy­chological nature, to lead sinners in the way of righteousness. The experience of having to surrender fully because we can no longer govern the rudder of our lives can be very healthy for us. We have to learn that we cannot force God’s hand. It is only in the way of following Him that we are made wise unto salvation in this present life, as well as for the life to come. Our sinful nature often prescribes to the Lord what He must do, and when and how He must do it.

The Lord taught us to pray, “Thy will be done.” How we need to pray this petition every day of our lives — yes, every moment of the day! With the Lord there is much forgiveness (also for our sin of wanting to be in control) through the blood of Him who became a Servant though He was Lord, and who placed God’s will above His own when He said, “Not my will, but thy will be done.” The Lord has also provided the grace to enable us to follow Him — even in the most grievous circumstances — so that we may experience that “all those who fear and trust His name ... no want shall know” (Psalter 87:2).

The Lord also granted this to the woman whose story I have just related. In addition to being healed in mind and body, the Lord granted her spiritual deliverance. The circumstances in which she found herself worked together for her good, albeit in a different man­ner than she had anticipated.

Judging Complaints🔗

No one ought to aspire after the experience of griev­ous bondage. Instead, we should desire clarity and genuineness. If the latter should be accompanied with some measure of difficulty and bondage, no one should use this as a benchmark to determine whether such experiences are of a saving nature. At all times let us seek the Lord’s countenance until for Jesus’ sake He will be gracious to us, leaving the manner and measure in which He deals with us to be determined by His wisdom, sovereignty, righteousness, and mercy. Without the ministry of the Holy Spirit it is impossible to submit to this. However, the Lord is pleased when we call upon Him for this grace. “If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?” (Luke 11:13). These are the words of the Savior. Therefore, “while He proffers peace and pardon, let us hear His voice today, lest if we our hearts should harden, we should perish in the way” (Psalter 255:4).

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