This article is about the importance and different aspects of family worship.

Source: Standard Bearer, 1981. 6 pages.

Family Devotions

Regular, daily, family devotions ought to be a habit among us. We ought to be in the habit of reading the Scriptures and praying. We should not think that because something is a habit it is necessarily bad. To be sure, there are bad habits. But there are also very good habits. In fact, because we are the kind of creatures that we are, because of the way in which God Himself has made us, habits are unavoidable. We have the habit of eating breakfast every morning, for example. That's a good habit. There would surely be something wrong if, after waking up in the morning, we had to sit down and think about what we should do next. No, we automatically set the table and sit down to breakfast. We have the habit of going to church on Sunday. Now, of course, our going to church on Sunday must not be ONLY a habit. But there would surely be something wrong if we woke up on Sunday morning and had to sit down and think about what we ought to do that morning. No, we wake up on Sunday and take it for granted that we are going to church. It's a habit with us; something we do almost automatically.

That's what ought to characterize our family devotions. We ought to be in the habit of having regular family devotions. To be sure, our family devotions, like our going to church on Sunday, must not be ONLY a habit. It must never be the case with us that we have family devotions simply because we are in the habit of it. We mustn't have family devotions simply because our parents had them with us when we were growing up. We mustn't have family devotions simply because this is the way things are done in our churches. And we surely mustn't have family devotions merely because we consider it a part of our distinctive heritage. If these are the reasons why we make family devotions a habit, then our family devotions will be ONLY a habit. And either we will very soon lose them altogether, or they will degenerate into a pious formality. Nevertheless, in the good sense of the word, we ought to be in the habit of having family devotions. Family devotions ought to be carried on daily and regularly in our homes. We ought to be in the habit of having family devotions because it is a good and spiritually beneficial habit. We ought to be in the habit of having family devotions because we understand it to be our solemn duty and obligation before God. We ought to be in the habit of having family devotions because they afford us an excellent opportunity to worship our God through prayer and the study of the Scriptures. We ought to be in the habit of having family devotions because they afford us parents an excellent means by which we may fulfill our calling to instruct the covenant seed in the truth of God. For all these reasons we, like our fathers before us, ought to make family devotions a habit in every one of our homes.

Perhaps you ask: But where do the Scriptures specifically enjoin family devotions upon us? Where in the Bible are we told that we must have family devotions? It is to be admitted that the Scriptures do not specifically enjoin family devotions upon God's people. There is no specific passage of Scripture to which you can turn that will say in so many words: Thou shalt conduct family devotions. And you surely will find no passage of Scripture that commands that family devotions be carried on in the way in which we customarily conduct them. No passage of Scripture is going to say in so many words that before our meals we must pray, and after our meals we must read the Bible and pray once again.

Nevertheless, it is the case that the Scriptures very clearly enjoin upon us the practice of family devotions. Everything that we Christians do is not to be found as a direct command in the Word of God. There are many things that pertain to our walk in the midst of the world that are deductions and implications from Scripture. The Scriptures, for example, nowhere say in so many words that we ought to have our own Christian schools. Yet, our churches have always insisted upon this, wherever the Lord makes this possible. It is simply an implication that we have drawn from the Scriptural truth concerning the covenant. There are many things in our lives that we do, not because Scripture explicitly commands us to do them, but because they are certainly implied in Scripture. Strikingly, when speaking of Holy Scripture, the Westminster Confession of faith says this: "The whole counsel of God, concerning all things necessary for His own glory, man's salvation, faith, and life, is either expressly set down in Scripture, or by good and necessary consequence may be deduced from Scripture." There are things that the child of God must deduce from the Scriptures. The practice of family devotions falls into this category. It is a practice that by good and necessary consequence we deduce from Scripture. It is a practice which the Scriptures clearly imply.

How does Scripture imply that we ought to have family devotions? From what passages of Scripture may this practice be deduced? There are, first of all, several passages of Scripture which urge prayer upon the child of God. The Scriptures make very plain that the child of God must be instant in prayer. In Luke 18:1 we read that Jesus spoke a parable unto His disciples: "unto this end, that men ought always to pray, and not to faint."

In Luke 21:36 Jesus exhorted His disciples:

Watch ye therefore, and pray always, that ye may be accounted worthy to escape all these things that shall come to pass, and to stand before the Son of Man.

In Romans 12:12 we read: "Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer."

The apostle writes in Ephesians 6:18: "Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit."

The admonition of the apostle in I Thessalonians 5:17-18 is: "Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you."

The clear teaching of Scripture is that the child of God must be always, continually in prayer. If that is the case, is it not reasonable to conclude that also our family lives are to be characterized by prayer? If we are to pray always, are we not to pray also as families? Is it not true that our prayers as a family, our family devotions, are but one part of fulfilling the calling of Scripture that we must be instant in prayer? I would maintain that from these Scripture passages, the practice of family devotions is a good and necessary consequence.

Besides insisting on the necessity of prayer in the life of the child of God, the Scriptures also exhort the child of God to be a student of God's Word. The word of the Lord through His servant Moses was:

And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. (Deuteronomy 6:6-7)

The word of the prophet Isaiah to backsliding Israel was:

Seek ye out of the book of the Lord, and read: no one of these shall fail, none shall want her mate: for My mouth it hath commanded, and His spirit it hath gathered them.

In John 5:39 Jesus says: "Search the Scriptures; for in them ye think ye have eternal life: and they are they which testify of Me."

And finally, in Acts 17:11, the apostle Paul holds before us the worthy example of the Berean Christians:

These were more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the Scriptures daily, whether those things were so.

The clear injunction of Scripture is that we must always be studying, always reading, always searching the Word of God. Is it not reasonable to conclude from that that also in and as families we ought to be doing that? If we are to search the Scriptures daily, are we not to be busy doing that in our own homes and with our own families? Is it not also clear that the practice of reading the Scriptures as a part of our family devotions is a good and necessary consequence to be drawn from the teaching of the Scriptures?

Besides these Scripture passages which enjoin prayer and the study of the Scriptures upon the child of God, there are also a couple of passages in Scripture which rather clearly allude specifically to the practice of family devotions. The first such passage is Genesis 4:26:

And to Seth, to him also there was born a son; and he called his name Enos: then began men to call upon the name of the Lord.

This text undoubtedly refers to the first gathering of believers for the public worship of Jehovah. Men began in the days of Seth to gather together publicly in order to call on the name of the Lord. That very fact implies that private, family worship of the Lord had preceded this. The fact that "then" men began to gather publicly to call upon the name of the Lord exactly implies that before this time the worship of the Lord had been in the nature of family worship. Nor does the "then" imply that now that men gathered to worship God publicly they no longer continued the practice of doing that as families. They certainly continued to do that. The "then" means that now in addition to that, besides and alongside of that, they also began to call upon the Lord's name publicly.

Deuteronomy 6:7 is also noteworthy in this connection. There the Lord tells His people that a man is not only to teach his children the Word of the Lord when he walks in the way, when he rises up and when he lies down. But he is also to instruct his children when he "sits in his house." While he is sitting down in his house, surely while he is sitting down in his house to eat his meals, he is to be instructing his children.

Strikingly we read of Jesus that, before He distributed the bread to the multitude of over four thousand which He miraculously fed, He gave thanks. Our prayers before our meals are not a custom which originated with our Dutch forefathers. It's something our Lord Himself taught us to do by His own example.

And, finally, there is also the word of the apostle Paul in I Timothy 4:4-5:

For every creature of God is good, and nothing to be refused, if it be received with thanksgiving: for it is sanctified by the word of God and prayer.

And the striking thing is that the context here is exactly concerned with food and with eating. The apostle has said in verse 3:

Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth.

Family devotions at meal times are exactly an expression of this thanksgiving which the child of God ought to give to God for the creatures, for the food and drink, which He gives to us. Prayer and the reading of God's word at meal times is not only proper, but ought to be considered by us as necessary, a good and necessary consequence of the teaching of Holy Scripture.

About family devotions themselves we ought to notice a few things. In the first place, they are devotions. That implies that the source out of which family devotions arise is the love of God in our hearts. That's what the very word devotion implies. Someone for whom you have devotion is someone whom you love. Love can be the only possible source for family devotions. Moses makes that clear in Deuteronomy 6 to the children of Israel. In the verses 6 and following he sets before them their calling to teach the Word of the Lord unto their children, to talk of it when they sit in their houses, when they walk by the way, when they lie down and rise up. How are they going to do that? What alone will insure that they carry out this calling? The answer is: the love of God. And so Moses exhorts the children of Israel in verse 5: "And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might."

If our family devotions are to succeed, there must be in our homes first of all the love of God. Where that love is revealed, family devotions will flourish. Where families love God, and reveal that love within the life of the family itself, family devotions will have no trouble being sustained. Where husbands love their wives, where parents love their children and receive them as gifts from God's own hand, where children reverence their father and mother and show love to each other, there family devotions will necessarily thrive. But where family relations are strained, where husband and wife do not get along, where children are disobedient to their parents, where there is constant fighting between brothers and sisters, there family devotions will wither away and die. We will succeed in our family devotions, only when we ground them in the love of God and love for one another for God's sake.

Secondly, that these are family devotions means also that they are part of our worship of God. That is also contained in the very idea of the word devotion. Devotion is not simply the deep emotion of love. It's not simply love in our hearts. But devotion is love in action. It is consecration and worship. That implies that we do not practice family devotions first of all in order that we might get something out of them for ourselves. To be sure, we do "get something" out of family devotions. There is benefit, great benefit to the faithful practice of family devotions. There is the assurance of salvation worked in our hearts by the Holy Spirit through the reading of the Scriptures and prayer. And surely the benefit of family devotions for our children is that they are instructed by us in the truths of God's Word and in the practice of prayer. They learn the contents of the Scriptures, and also how to apply the Scriptures to their everyday life. They learn from us how to pray, what to pray for, and the reasons for prayer. But above all else, family devotions do not have as their primary, and certainly not their sole, purpose that we get something out of them for ourselves. Their purpose is devotional. They are intended to be an expression of our love to God. They are worship, bending the knee before God in humble adoration and thanksgiving. They are worship through especially the two means of prayer and the reading of the Word. Prayer is the chief part of thankfulness. The reading and believing of God's Word is worship of God in which God takes no greater delight.

But we must not either forget that these are family devotions. The point that needs to be emphasized is that they are devotions carried on by the family as a whole. The family as family has needs to bring to God's throne of grace. The family has reason to give thanks unto God for all His blessings. That's what makes meal time, from a practical point of view, the best time to have these family devotions. As the children grow older and become busier, the time when the entire family is at home in generally mealtime. That these are family devotions means that the whole family ought to participate in these devotions. Nevertheless, the leadership in these devotions ought to be assumed by the father and husband. He is the God-appointed head of the house. He is the one whom Moses is addressing in Deuteronomy 6 in particular. The word of the Lord in Ephesians 6:4 is: "And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."

That doesn't mean, of course, that the mother and wife has no place in conducting family devotions. In some instances it may be that she is best qualified to read and lead the family devotions. But a husband must not neglect or quickly relinquish his duty to his wife for any reason. Also in family worship he is the head and she is the help-meet.

Perhaps some practical suggestions for conducting family devotions might be in order. These are intended to be just that, suggestions. We ought not to lay down laws and precepts governing this practice by us. We mustn't start saying that this or that way is the best way to conduct family devotions, as if there is really only one proper way. Family situations differ. In one family one way is going to work out better than another. It does seem, however, that making the evening meal the special time of the day for family devotions works out about the best for most families.

But though we ought to avoid laying down laws, there are certainly some practical suggestions which we can make in regard to family devotions.

  • The first is that father and mother insist on taking and setting aside the time for these family devotions every day. Obviously, all other suggestions will be of no value, if this is not done. Parents should discipline themselves to do this, and they should insist on it for the rest of the family. Children must not be allowed quickly to gobble their food down and be excused from the table because they have this meeting or that activity to which they must go. Parents must insist that mealtime and family devotions take precedent over everything else.

  • Secondly, it's a good idea for parents to provide the members of the family with Bibles. That the younger children are able to follow along as father reads, or are even allowed to do some of the reading themselves, goes a long way in making them involved and interested in the family devotions. Besides, following along in the Bible means that two senses are at work in our devotions: we not only hear God's Word being read, but we see it in the Bible before us. This will aid in remembering the passage which is read.

  • Thirdly, after the reading of Scripture it would be profitable if there were some discussion of the passage. This will also promote remembering the Word that was read. Parents can start by having the smaller children recite the last few words that are read. Perhaps a few questions could be asked the older children. In this connection, it is helpful to have some study aids handy, especially a concordance and Bible dictionary. If we are going to profit from our Scripture reading, we must know and understand what we read.

  • In the fourth place, parents ought to stick to the King James' Version of the Bible. They ought to do this because, to my mind, this is by far the best and most faithful translation available to us today. But they ought to do this also because the use of different and various translations for our family devotions is going to promote confusion among our children. The use of other versions is good for private study, but not for reading of the Scriptures as devotions in the family. As a father, I want my children to become familiar with the Scriptures, and this will not happen if I am continually reading to them out of different versions.

  • In the fifth place, parents ought to use the opportunity of family devotions to teach their children how to pray. Prayer is something that is learned. Children are not born with an innate knowledge of and ability to pray. Children must be taught to pray. This is best done during family devotions by the father praying audibly. More and more it is becoming the custom in our homes that the fathers pray silently along with all the rest of the members of the family. This is not good. I fear it indicates that fathers themselves do not know how to pray as they ought. Fathers ought to pray aloud at family devotions. They ought to do that so that their children may learn by their father's example how and for what to pray. But the children themselves ought also to pray. They ought to be taught a short prayer which they pray before and after the meal. They ought to be taught to ask for the Lord's blessing and to give Him thanks. May we cherish the practice of family devotions.

May our homes be homes where God's Word is read and studied, and prayer is offered to God. May we not succumb to the temptation to slight family devotions, or even lay them aside altogether. In this way our family devotions shall be glorifying to the name of our God and serve our own and our children's spiritual edification.

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