LITURGY⤒🔗

Singing:
Ps. 113:1,3
Ps. 68:2,5
Hy. 38:1,2,3
Ps. 128: 1,2,3
Hy. 65:1,2←↰⤒🔗

Reading: Ephesians 5:21-6:9←↰⤒🔗

Beloved brothers and sisters in our Lord Jesus Christ,

By the standards of modern society the passage we have in front of us may appear to be hopelessly out of place and outdated. Let someone try standing up in a university lecture hall or in a public gathering and declare to all present what Paul wrote: "Wives, be subject to your husbands". Your audience will consider you backwards, out of your mind, and a threat to progress. Try stating it on a radio talk show and angry callers will light up the switchboard. Submission is put on par with oppression or dominance.

What goes on in the world always affects the church to a certain extent. Instead of warding off an infiltration of worldliness many churches and individuals buy what the world offers. Thus some will argue Paul told women to be subject to their husbands because he was a male chauvinist and had an anti-feminist bias. He just did not like women. That is why he himself did not get married. Others suggest Paul's remarks about women being subject to their husbands were made within a particular context and cultural setting. The congregations at that time could accept this rule. They did not know any better. We, however, are living in a different age. We simply cannot transport what the apostle wrote over the highways of time and apply it to our society. Such an approach would be simplistic and naive.

All this begs the question: can we, as church, still endorse the principle that a woman should be subject to her husband? Let's be honest; the words of the apostle make us somewhat uneasy too, don't they? For if we continue to uphold that women are to be submissive to their husbands, we may be opening the door to wife abuse or mistreatment of some sort.

Beloved, having faith in God, we are to subject our lives to the authority of the entire Bible. The Lord's norms and standards are for all times. If we are going to listen to the LORD – and that is our reason for coming together as congregation – we will have to apply all of Scripture to our lives. And when we listen to what the Spirit says to the churches we will discover that our text does not promote wife abuse; nor does it put women down. Far from it!

This sermon and the next one will elaborate on the function and responsibility of wives and husbands in marriage. Our text deals with wives, and our theme is:

The Apostolic Appeal to Married Christian Women to know their God-Given Position←⤒🔗

1. The Context of this Appeal
2. The Contents of this Appeal

At the beginning of this letter the apostle Paul sings a song of praise regarding God's work of election. It is in this light that he reviews the life of the congregation; their sanctification and renewal. He sees a church called out of the darkness of sin to the light of the gospel of life. The apostle sees adults and children being baptized. There are people who confess their faith in God and commit their whole life to his service, thereby submitting themselves to the Word of God. Observing all these things the apostle exclaims, "He destined us in love to be his sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace which he freely bestowed on us in the Beloved" (Ephesians 1:5,6). Paul recognizes that the Lord uses what happens in the church to fulfil his purpose in reaching the sum-total of the elect.

Thus the first three chapters of Ephesians give a description of our identity as church of Jesus Christ. It is a picture of who we are in Christ. The last three chapters make a shift in emphasis. Being in Christ (that is, being church) must be visible in a concrete form. Having been delivered from the realm of darkness, members of the church must live as children of the light: "For once you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord; walk as children of light" (Ephesians 5:8).  The Lord not only grants to us the forgiveness of sins but he rebuilds our life through the powerful working of the Holy Spirit. Christ does not save all the benefits of his work for a later date (for the new heaven and new earth) but he is busy with us right now. Through the proclamation of the gospel, the Holy Spirit works faith in us, strengthens that faith, and sends us in an entirely new direction. He changes the pattern of our life so that we start living for the Lord and his glory. Since the Holy Spirit has been poured out, we must be filled with the Spirit (Ephesians 5:18). That manifests itself in how members of the body of Christ treat one another in their daily contacts and relationships. As we sing in Hymn 38 of the Book of Praise:

He on the Church of Christ our Lord
His many varied gifts outpoured,
That, without pride or malice, we
Might one another's members be.

And so we are commanded to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Brothers and sisters, we honour the Lord our God by respecting what he says about our social conduct and behaviour. As believers we are to submit to one another. Christians are not fighting to see who can be on the top. Our first concern is not: "What do I get out of life? Do people recognize my talents and do they respect me?”  The Spirit of Christ teaches us "Do nothing from selfishness or conceit, but in humility count others better than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others" (Philippians 2:3,4). The enthusiasm of the Spirit is expressed in the communion of saints. We are not to esteem ourselves better than others but consider others better than ourselves. In this we are to follow the example of our Saviour.

During his entire ministry on earth Jesus sought the glory of his Father and the salvation of his church. Christ had every right to demand honour and respect; yet he humbled himself, giving up the glory he shared with the Father. Our Saviour was willing to get on his hands and knees and wash the feet of his disciples (John 13). In the end he submitted himself to death on a cross for our sake.

Everyone who is filled with the Holy Spirit will submit in one way or another. All of us are commanded "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ" (Ephesians 5:21). Starting at chapter 5:22 and running through chapter 6:9 the apostle expands on the need for mutual submission in the congregation and gives several examples of how to do this.

The first example is the relation of wives to their husbands. Paul writes "Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord". Wives are to be subject to their husbands by recognizing them to be the head. He starts with wives because apparently there was a problem here. Ephesian women were reluctant to submit. They wanted the freedom to do with their lives as they pleased.

But Paul does not stop there; submission is not only for women. Husbands shall be subject to their wives by loving them in the same way Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Children must submit to their parents by being obedient to them. Fathers (or parents) shall be subject to their children by bringing them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Slaves must be subject to their earthly masters by being obedient, and masters must be subject to their slaves by showing no partiality and treating them in an honourable manner.

In the church everybody is to be subject to the other. There is an equality in submission. Both sexes are equal since both were created in the image of God. There is no distinction between Jew and Greek, bond or free, male or female (Galatians 3:28). There is a difference, however, in the way submission functions. In the church we are to submit to one another and yet there are those who are leaders and those who are followers. Not everyone has the same duty or responsibility. There are those suitable for the office of elder and deacon and those who are not. In the home we are to be subject to one another; and yet the husband has a different function than his wife, and the children have a different function than their parents. A wife is called to submit to the headship of her husband.

Beloved, the apostle Paul holds high the standard for a Christian marriage. Such a paradigm is contrary to a worldly view of marriage. Filled with the Holy Spirit we receive a new perspective on marriage and on how a man and woman should live together. Therefore we shouldn't be surprised by society's reaction to what the Word of God teaches. Only those who are grafted into Christ and accept all that is promised in the gospel will heed what is written in these verses. The Spirit must prepare our hearts and bring us to conversion so that we believe what God says. The Lord must remove from us our heart of stone and give us a heart of flesh (Ezekiel 36:26). Those who fear the Lord, and revere Christ, will let the Spirit lead them in the truth. You see, there is no reason to judge that Paul's view on women was culturally conditioned. His thinking was conditioned by the will of his Sender.

2. "Wives, be subject to your own husbands". But what does this mean? What is the content of this appeal?

Most translations read, "Wives be subject to your husbands as to the Lord". The verb "be subject" is not found in the original Greek text but is simply implied. Rendered literally verse 22 says, "Wives yourselves to your own husbands". The idea of "be subject" comes from verse 21. As an ambassador of Christ the apostle Paul addresses all Christian wives.  He is not saying that submission is only for wives whose husbands are fulfilling their function, or for those who might agree that this is the best thing for them to do.

Moreover, we need to keep in mind is that Paul is saying a woman must submit to a man and acknowledge him to be her head only in the bond of marriage. The submissiveness of a woman in church, though related, is a separate matter and of a slightly different nature (see 1 Timothy 2:11ff.).

A wife is to be subject to her own husband, that is, to the one whom she possesses and to whom she can say, "You're my man". She submits to the one with whom she has an intimate relation of communion, with whom she has become one flesh. For the sake of unity and the promotion of a good relation a wife is to be subject to her husband in recognizing he is the head.

But how do wives submit to their husbands? By yielding voluntarily and in love to the headship of their husbands. By telling wives to be subject to their husbands, God is not making them into slaves who are ordered around by their spouse. A husband has no right to sit back in his easy chair, snap his fingers, and tell his wife what to do. Sometimes a parent will tell a demanding child, "I am not your servant". A wife can say the same thing to her husband. She is not to be ordered around by his commands.

The headship of a husband over his wife has nothing to do with physical strength or intellectual ability. And therefore a husband has no right to rule by intimidation or force.  Headship is a matter of role and function. When a wife submits to her husband she acknowledges that he has a different function than she does. She has her own place and task.

As head, a Christian husband is to be a leader. A wife places herself under her husband's authority because he is the one who has the responsibility to lead her and the family in matters that apply to this life and the life to come. "So once the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves and were submissive to their husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord" (1 Peter 3:5,6). Sarah subjected herself to Abraham acknowledging him to be the one who was to take the lead in answering the call of faith as that came to them from God. When the Lord calls Abraham, Sarah does not hold her husband back. She does not say, "Are you kidding! I'm not going to that strange place!" Without hesitation she joins Abraham in obedience to the calling of the Lord.

That's what submitting is all about in a Christian marriage. A wife has to accept this God-given order even if she may be more talented and capable than her husband. The husband is the one who must take the lead so that husband and wife together submit themselves to God.

Submissiveness does not require that a woman scarcely opens her mouth, has no ideas of her own, and always bows to her husband's wishes. A wife shall be subject to her husband as one cared and provided for by her husband. This is what she is to expect from him whom God has made her head. He is to give security and protection to his wife physically, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually. Being subject does not mean a woman is any less intelligent or gifted than her husband.

An example might help here. In a Bible Study society one person is chosen to be the president to make sure the meetings run smoothly and efficiently. Does this mean the other members have a lesser status? Are they denied their rights? Do you lose your individuality because you are not the president? The same thing happens in hockey and other sports. A team captain does not have to be the best player but it is his duty to lead the team. In the bond of marriage the Lord has chosen the husband to be the leader in the family. He is the head.

Scripture itself gives us a more pointed example. We read in 1 Corinthians 11:3, "But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of every woman is her husband, and the head of Christ is God". Is Christ inferior to God the Father? No, he is equal with the Father and the Holy Spirit but he has a different function in the inner working of the Trinity.

Some women (and men) might question everything said up to this point. One may think, "If I submit to my husband it is going to be terrible, and unbearable. I'll lose my rights as a woman!" No you won't! For God has instituted marriage to function in this manner so that a husband is 100 percent husband and a wife 100 percent wife.

What about those husbands who do not believe in the Lord? Brothers and sisters, do you know what the apostle Peter says about this?  “Likewise you wives, be submissive to your husbands, so that some, though they do not obey the word, may be won without a word by the behaviour of their wives, when they see your reverent and chaste behaviour". Instead of harping on the fact that he should change, she shall follow the standards the Lord has set for marriage so she may win him for Christ without speaking a word.

Paul also spells out the manner in which a woman ought to be subject to her husband. It is to be done "as to the Lord". Of course this does not mean they treat their husbands like the Lord. Rather, submission to their husbands is a duty they owe to the Lord. Wives, when you submit to your husband it isn't to be done grudgingly. A woman is to submit as to the Lord Jesus Christ because he is the one who set down these principles and he wants them obeyed. Just as Christ is Head of the church so the husband must be head of his wife.

A husband as head must lead and serve simultaneously. Being part of the church, we are deeply aware of what a great privilege it is to be members of the body of Christ. Jesus, our Head, leads and guides us through the valleys and over the mountains of life. Everything he does and everything he gives serves the benefit of the whole family of God. Well, a woman is to be subject to her husband in the same manner. She shall "respect him, and entrust herself to his loving care, following the example of godly women who trusted in God and were subject to their husbands" (Form for the Solemnization of Marriage, Book of Praise, p.636). Wives are to be subject to their husbands in the same manner as to Christ – as to the Lord. The authority is not equal, but a woman cannot obey Christ without submitting to her husband.

Indeed, brothers and sisters, the phrase "as to the Lord" means a woman's subjection to her husband is part of her obedience to the Lord. Thus the Lord says to all Christian wives, "Do you wish to serve me? Do you believe in me? Show it in how you treat your husbands. It is no compliment to a husband or his wife if others consider the wife to be the one who calls the shots and wears the pants. A woman who refuses to submit to her husband is disobedient to Christ.

The reason why a Christian woman must acknowledge the headship of her husband is given in verse 24: "As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands". To what extent does a woman have to subject herself to the authority of her husband? Verse 24 says "in everything". In everything? Yes, in every aspect of her life. Yet a woman may not follow her husband in disobedience or a worldly lifestyle. She should resist and reject anything and everything that causes her to disobey the commandments of the Lord. Furthermore, a wife should not be left out of what the husband is doing with his pay-cheque. A husband has no right to leave his wife in the dark about what is happening with the business or with finances or in any other area of life for that matter. Christ does not treat his church in that manner at all.

Under Christ's leadership the talents and gifts of the congregation are employed to the glory of God the Father. Our Lord Jesus wants us to be directly involved in his church-gathering work. He even calls us to work out our own salvation with fear and trembling since God is at work in us (Philippians 2:12,13). In the same way, a wife is to have a very active role in the life of the family. Yet she may not take on a function that is not hers.

Brothers and sisters, society laughs at the thought of submission. People consider it foolish and a relic of ancient times, but don't be pushed off your feet. If we follow what the Lord teaches we will have happier homes, better marriages, less divorce and above all the Head of the church will be honoured. When a man gives godly leadership in a loving and caring manner his wife will not feel pushed down but elevated and enriched. Not only do wives who submit to the headship of their husbands, out of reverence for Christ, gain from it but the whole church reaps the benefits. Therefore, listen to the instruction of your Lord who seeks what is best for you, and you will be blessed by him, enjoying Salem's peace. See the advantage and comfort given to women in this Word of the Lord. Amen.