It may well happen that as a consistory that you get to deal with a church member who chooses cremation rather than a burial. When you hear about this in time, you can still talk about it, and perhaps use the booklet that Prof. Douma wrote on this topic in his RONDOM DE DOOD (Issues around Death; Ethical Reflection Series, no. 10). But sometimes you do not have the opportunity. Or the choice for cremation turns out to be unalterable. What then?

It appears to me that a consistory would do well to reflect in time on a course of action for such situations that will give office bearers and the congregations something to use as a guideline. First of all, because in today’s world the church needs to be well aware of its witness of its Christian future expectation. Secondly, because it concerns a matter that is generally very sensitive for the person(s) involved. And finally because it also will lead irrevocably to discussions with relatives and the environment during the emotional period between death and burial. There is every reason to decide on a proactive course of action “in peace and quiet”.

In this article I would like to make a few observations on the subject. My concern is with the position of the church in the event of an unexpected cremation of a church member. So it will not be about the subject of cremation itself or the question of the extent to which individuals can attend the cremation of a family member, a neighbourhood acquaintance, colleague or friend. Neither does this article deal with the presence of a minister at the cremation of an unbeliever (see. J. Douma, Ibid., p. 160-163).

Some Starting Points⤒🔗

1. For an ethical assessment of cremation, I refer to the previously mentioned study by J. Douma, RONDOM DE DOOD, p. 139-168. As a short summary: a burial is the way of caring for the dead that is in line with the teaching of the Holy Scriptures. God’s children asked to be buried (see Gen. 23:3f; 25:9; 49:29f; Mark 6:29; Luke 7:14; John 11:43f); God’s own Son was buried and paved the way for us through the dissolution of the grave to the resurrection of the flesh (John 19:38-42; 1 Cor. 15:4; Heidelberg Catechism Lord’s Day. 16); our burial is an act of sowing the dead body in the earth — an act that testifies to the Christian expectation (1 Cor. 15:35-58). Cremation—and this counts even more strongly when it is followed by the ashes being scattered — is an act that as such does not express our Christian expectation (see 1 Pet. 3:15). The fact that as human beings we “return to dust” does not also give us the right to “make ourselves into dust”.
2. The determination to be cremated can stem from challenging what Scripture teaches about the future of God’s children. When such resistance results in a final cremation, a consistory should, in my opinion, refrain from cooperating in the cremation. However, a cremation does not always have to result from a conscious opposition to the Word of God and the Christian future expectations. It can also have been caused by exceptional circumstances or because of a weakness of judgment. In these situations, it is not appropriate for us to pass judgment on the Christian character of someone who allows himself to be cremated. Nor do we claim that God would not want to or is unable to resurrect people who have been cremated. The Lord created the world out of nothing and will also cause the sea to give up its dead. This means he is also able to raise a body from dust. Even if it is burned: whether it was at the stake, in a fire, an assassination...or a cremation, chosen or not, by the person himself.
3. A cremation, like a burial, is not an ecclesiastical but a family affair. The activity of office bearers has no other basis than the pastoral and fraternal connection to the deceased church member and the consequent co-responsibility for voicing the Christian witness at the final care for the body. The task and responsibility of the church and of its office bearers in the case of a funeral service therefore has a limited scope. The church is not obligated to provide its cooperation.

Concrete Policy←⤒🔗

1. Should the family of the deceased opt for cremation against the wishes of the deceased, then neither the funeral service nor the cremation will be accorded official cooperation. The church will not participate in such an ”indecent” situation! In such unexpected situations, the Christian remembrance will find expression through, for example, prayer in the Sunday worship service and an “in memoriam” in the church bulletin.
2.  In cases where the cremation of one of the members of the congregation does take place at his/her own request and will, then the activity and presence of the office bearers is limited to the meeting. But this will happen only when:
   a. the cremation does not take place out of unbelief in the christian expectation of the resurrection;
   b. the gospel of the Christian expectation of the future for God’s children who have died can be brought without restriction;
   c. in the gathering none of the family members will violate the Christian morals of a funeral;
   d. the meeting is not held in the crematorium.
   If the family is unwilling to comply with these conditions, then they themselves make it impossible to receive the assistance of the church.
3. The actual cremation is a family affair. Office bearers will not go to the crematorium on the basis of their office. The family itself is responsible for giving voice and form to its Christian future expectation in the crematorium.
4. Only when the family sees no possibility of expressing the Christian faith, for example because the whole family is or has become secularized, the church will cooperate. The testimony of the gospel and the Christian hope will then be expressed in a subdued manner under the direction of the minister through the reading of Scripture, songs, confession and prayer.
5. Office bearers cannot be forced or complied to participate in any way in a cremation or the ceremony that accompanies it.
6. Members of the congregation, in their personal Christian responsibility and while showing respect for the position of the consistory, should weigh the matter of the disapproval of a cremation and the desire to show their sympathy to the family, in paying the final respects to the deceased and contributing to the Christian character of the ceremony.