About the Title⤒🔗

The wording of this theme was established at an editorial meeting. The reader may be wondering: what does this mean? Are there instances of disrespect at funerals such that a warning needs to be given about this?

One can think about the fact that in the west there is sometimes little time for the funeral service in the auditorium of the cemetery of a city. It is now thirty years ago that I saw a message appear on the back wall while I was speaking in an auditorium: “Your consultation time is up; please stop.” The people speaking had run somewhat longer than expected, and we had experienced a delay in traffic. In the meantime, another funeral procession was waiting to make use of the auditorium. I then decided to continue my speech at the gravesite. The weather conditions were such that this was possible.

It is conceivable that nowadays, so many years later, there is even less time for funerals. Then something could be mentioned about this in this article. Yet our theme did not find its reason in events such as this.

It is also not motivated by the request to write something against the increasing use of cremation. This method of disposal of the dead is increasing in religious circles. I pointed out some time ago that a certain Mrs. R. wrote in one of her publications that she had revisited her preference for cremation and now prefers a funeral instead. It is good to hear such voices and to reflect about this matter. However, this article is not about objections to cremation. There is another reason, namely what we as ministers are to say at a funeral and how we bring the gospel in relation to the family and those present.

Shifts←⤒🔗

As an editorial team it was observed that in religious circles, including our churches, there is a tendency to turn funerals more into a Christian-styled “In Memoriam.” The attention is then entirely focused on the life and death of the deceased, on his faith and walk of life, on his restful dying. Those present may then hear how the deceased has experienced his faith until his death, and all that he has done.

The question was asked whether I would want to write something about this trend. At this point I am not concerned with determining to what extent this use of a Christian “In Memoriam” has already been integrated in our practises. I myself have been able to observe during the last ten years that at funerals things are done differently than during my younger years. At that time, so to speak, there was a sermon with a warning word to those who were living. Not much or hardly anything was said about the deceased; perhaps something about the circumstances of the family, especially if the death was sudden and tragic, or when it concerned a young person.

In this article, I assume that the minister will be present at the funeral, owing to his office. His task there is to bring the Word of God. That Word is about life and death, offers comfort across the grave, and it calls out to us to seek God and to live with God. In short: the preacher brings the gospel, focused on the situation of loss and mourning. People also think differently about the minister’s task at a funeral. He would be more or less in the service of the family. After all, they say, a funeral is a family occasion. Prof. dr. M.J.G. van der Velden has written an article in the recently published Postille (1991 - 1992) about the speaking of a minister at a funeral, in which different points of view are represented. Perhaps a future article can be devoted separately to the relationship between family and congregation at a funeral. For now I am focusing on what the minister is expected to do based on his office.

Nowadays there is more attention for the deceased person during a funeral service. I believe I can state that more tends to be said about him or her than it used to be.

In this regard this does present somewhat of a problem, because this cannot be done as easily when it is about someone whose spiritual state remained in the darkness. How can a Christian “In Memoriam” be delivered when it concerns someone who has not clearly led a life of faith? It may require a bit of colour-calibration if one wants to end up with a positive “In Memoriam.” No minister is allowed to do this. Anyone who seeks to go this way at a funeral therefore faces challenges in some regards. He exposes himself to a temptation. Something else needs to be understood: that our words about the eternal state of a deceased person do not contribute anything to his or her salvation. God decides. The verdict is not ours, neither positive nor negative. Nothing changes for the deceased based on what we are saying. To state it very clearly: that has been decided.

In my youth I often heard the expression “in the place where the tree falls, there it will lie,” with a reminder of Ecclesiastes 11:3. We would do well to consider such succinct expressions and to continue to use them.

In addition there is something else. The address (or whatever one wants to characterize the words of a minister at a funeral) does not apply to the dead, but to the living. The deceased can no longer hear it. We should therefore not turn our attention to him. We need to bring the gospel to the living. Ultimately they do not benefit from what we say about the deceased. It can be a comfort to them when the minister may testify of the blessed state of dying in the Lord (Revelation 14:13) of the deceased. However, they need other comfort, namely God’s gracious and strengthening hand. They need the gospel that calls them, the living, to faith and repentance.

The Role of the Minister←⤒🔗

From the foregoing, I want to draw this conclusion right now: a pastor has to bring the gospel. He must speak of sin and grace. He needs to point out to those present the seriousness of life and death, the time of grace that God is giving, and that one should make use of it. A preacher may offer the perspective of the gospel: Jesus Christ has conquered death because he has dealt with our guilt and the devil.

This is — in a few words — the message to be delivered at a funeral. A respectful burial requires the minister to faithfully perform his duties as a minister of the Gospel in those special circumstances.

He probably has people in his audience who are strangers to the gospel, or have become alienated from the church. It would be a privilege if that does not apply to many. However, generally they will be there as well. I believe that a funeral presents an opportunity for the gospel to be heard in its breadth and depth, and also in its seriousness: that it is about our eternal weal or woe.

When a Christian “memorial service” takes the place of the gospel, its power is taken away from this task. What is said about a person can never have the same sense and authority (or power) as what is said on behalf of God and about God.

Scripture in the First Place←⤒🔗

Therefore at a funeral the Word of God will not only have to be read, but also explained and clarified. That is the first task of a minister. The Scripture portion that was read must be delivered to the people.

It would be incorrect in this context to use the word objectively. After all, the Word of God is not objective in the well-known philosophical sense of the word. It is alive and powerful, sharper than any two-edged sword (Heb. 4:12).

It is about the Word as it speaks for itself, regardless of any relationship to an “In Memoriam.”

May nothing be said about the deceased? That is allowed, but not as the focus and not as the centre of the people coming together. When it comes to the funeral of a person who himself has demonstrated his faith in word and deed, then something may be said about the testimony he or she confessed.

A minister who knows his sheep and the Scriptures will look for a Bible passage in which some aspects of the deceased’s religious life can be found. He can draw a line from the explanation of Scripture to the life (and death) of the deceased person. He can show that this word of Scripture has become reality in his or her life. That this Word was experienced, processed and believed.

Such a reference then serves to underline the text. It is not the other way around, as if the text would underline the faith of the deceased. In that case it would mean that a human being is at the centre and the Word is secondary. However, it is the exact opposite. The Word has the central place. It reaches people in order to be active in their lives.

“They Glorified God in me”←⤒🔗

It is to the glory of the Lord when something can be said about the effective power of the Word in someone's life. Then the mention must indeed be aimed at glorifying God. In this regard, see Acts 4:21, and especially Galatians 1:24, where Paul writes, “And they glorified God because of me.” That is said in response to the message about Paul’s conversion in the church of Judea. As the second priority, something can be said in a funeral service about the deceased based on the Word.

However, don’t dwell on this. After this intermediate section it is important to return our attention to the living. The gospel needs to be brought to them with even greater urgency. The power and meaning of faith need to be mentioned, including the consolation for those who are left behind.

Those present need to hear that this gospel provides salvation, forever. It also gives the strength to get beyond the sorrow or to carry them through it.

Room for the Personal Aspect←⤒🔗

So – no attention for the deceased person? No, that’s not it. I remember a funeral of an older sister who had trusted in God and been helped by him during her long and difficult life. She could persevere in faith and died happily. Not a word was mentioned about this. Many of those who were present and who had known her considered this somewhat cold and insensitive that nothing was said of this. That’s how I experienced it as well. When I reject a Christian “In Memoriam” as the central aspect of a mourning service, this does not imply that we are silent about those who have fallen asleep in Christ.

Based on the Word, something personal can be said, always with the intention that God may be glorified in him or her. At the funeral of someone whose state is unclear, one should keep silent about this. Also in that situation the Word will remain God’s Word. It is spoken to the living. Respectful burial requires respect for the Word in its focus on people who are in mourning. This reverence keeps us from positioning a deceased person in the centre or turning the funeral message into a Christian “memorial service.”

I believe that I have done justice to the relevant article from the Church Order. An "In Memoriam" is very similar to a funeral service as rejected by the Church Order.