You must be willing to lose your life in order to save it. This is one of the most shocking pronouncements Jesus made on earth. You could call it the summary of all his teaching, the red thread. It sounds contradictory and it sounds mysterious.

Why is this the core of all that Jesus taught?

Radical⤒🔗

In all four gospels you encounter this pronouncement of Jesus: in Mark 8:35, in Luke 9:24, in John 12:25, and in Matthew 16:25. Except for Christ’s story of suffering and death, there are not many events that you see covered by all four evangelists. This says something about the importance of what Jesus says here.

Jesus makes this pronouncement just before he sends out his twelve disciples. They have heard Jesus, they heard him speak live. And the core was this phrase: People, pay attention, for “The kingdom of heaven is at hand” (Matthew 10:7).

Not that it will come at some point in time; just wait for it. No, it is almost here (touching your nose!).

The kingdom of God begins where Jesus is at work, and where choices are made to follow him.

That is quite a confronting message for the disciples to be proclaiming.

With it, they force the Israelites to choose: For or against Jesus? That message will provoke resistance. Jesus does not say for nothing that he has come to bring a sword in families and households (Matthew 10:34). That means that with Jesus, a battle begins for first place. Who is going to lead: him or you?

That is a radical choice which leaves no room for adding water to the wine.

To follow Jesus means: to step aside every day again, allowing him to determine your life.

It is not I, but him who must be up front.

Your character, for example, is then not something that you simply cannot change anymore.

You will acknowledge your weak spots and work on them. You do not resign yourself to your hot temper. You think before you speak up. You give other people the space they need.

To follow Jesus and see him as the all-deciding person in your life also means that you do not start a relationship where there is no room for him. To choose for Jesus often hurts.

You continue in a troubled marriage. You do not let injustice that has been done to you in the past rule you. You choose forgiveness over becoming bitter and holding a grudge.

To follow Jesus is far from easy. It is not for nothing that Jesus says it is like a cross that you must take upon you. Taking your cross upon you refers to the pain you feel when Jesus is making the decisions in your life. That means that with every choice for Jesus and against myself, I will notice: This is costing me something. Sometimes it feels like a denial of myself, of my deepest emotions and needs. Following Jesus is a little dying.

A Battle←⤒🔗

Do we still feel that battle in our life as Christians? Do we still fight the battle with ourselves? I do not mean that you should be somewhat kinder, have some more patience, and occasionally swallow the gossip you hear. Certainly, that is also included and that can indeed be a battle, but we will survive all that.

But I am thinking of the real battle that Jesus points to here. Do we identify with that battle?

When was the last time that you really had to go against yourself? That you thought: I actually do not like this one bit, but I do it for God? How often do we shift our priorities for God?

Usually, we do not move that quickly in our commitments. When we read here that you must lose your life for Jesus Christ, you must surrender yourself completely to him, with all that you have and all that you are, then that barely causes a ripple with us.

To lose your life, Henk DeJong writes about this text — we turn that into “You should take into account that at some point life will end, just be prepared for that. You should know the difference between the earthly life and eternal life: the life that Jesus has earned for us, and which is given at the end of our journey, as an extra, a bonus.” And then we move on to the order of the day.

Following Jesus, certainly, but beside that there is so much more to do: your family, work, study, dedicating yourself to your neighbour. Let us remain sober after all.

And in the meantime, we act as if following Jesus is something that we do beside our regular life. As if there are two tracks: one for our own life, and then the life with Jesus.

That Jesus means that it is this life that we must give up (lose) when we want to belong to him, that is hard for us to swallow and to accept. Jesus could not possibly mean placing all things in this life in second place, so that you would not lose him: your courtship, your friendships, your marriage, your family, your job, your studies, your social position, your church membership?

You really ought to say, “What counts in the end is none of these things (which in themselves are all good), but what counts is Jesus Christ. My bond with him!”

Identity←⤒🔗

Why is that exactly what Jesus means? That you make all things subservient to him?

It is because Jesus wants to open your eyes to the fact that your life is very shaky when you have to hold it up all by yourself, when you have to figure out what the sense of life is, and when you place all your time and energy in that. Then every setback, every defeat, every negative expression about me then becomes an attack on my carefully created identity—on who I am, on how I feel, and on what I have achieved.

How people think about you, what success you achieve in your life then becomes all-controlling. It eats away all your energy and can even lead to burn-out. That danger is as real for Christians as it is for non-Christians.

Do not forget that Jesus said this (in Matthew 10) first of all to his own disciples. What does it mean to be following Jesus? It is not to become ever stronger in your faith and be able to face everything in your life. To follow Jesus is to discover your own weakness more and more.

Every argument you have with someone else is minimally coming at least  fifty percent from you, to just give an example.

To follow Jesus is to discover that he alone can give you an identity that cannot break, and which does not depend on what others say or think about you. It is an identity that strictly depends on the One who willingly died for you. To lose yourself in him in your life is to know that he is your only salvation. That is a battle, each and every day again, for I like to control my life. That is my natural reflex. Jesus shows here that that is not possible.

To lose your life in him is like living in his shadow. And yes, that hurts. It is the pain of self-denial. For my ego has to shift.

But, and that is the point, that is the crux (literally: the cross). Only in this way does my life remain in balance: when Jesus is above everything in my life.

Important things then suddenly become not unimportant, but they receive a different place: under him. And that is the best place, for only he can keep my life balanced and afloat.