Galatians 5:22-25 says that someone who lives by the Spirit will show the fruit of the Spirit, one of which is self-control.

4 pages. Translated by Bram Vegter.

Self-Control

Can you control yourself? Do you control yourself?

In Galatians 5:22-25 it says that someone who lives by the Spirit will show the fruit of the Spirit, which is to be recognized by nine character traits.

And one of those character traits is self-control.

In Practice🔗

In two articles I pondered in general as to what wisdom is. In those articles, in which I have been indebted to the insight of Tim Keller, the contours were sketched of wisdom which the Bible has in mind, especially viewed from the book of Proverbs.

What I want to do now, is to make this wisdom a bit more tangible (i.e., practical). When wisdom is not so much knowing “the difference between good and evil, but to be able to make the right decisions in situations, in which it is not so clear as to what you must do” (Keller), how does that wisdom look like then in practice? If there is one characteristic that is important when making decisions in a variety of situations, then it is self-control.

A Wall🔗

Just how important the Bible deems self-control, becomes evident from a text such as Proverbs 25:28, which says: A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.

Self-control is pictured as a wall here. Without self-control, my life lies open on all sides, and I am a target for attacks from the outside. Who is the enemy here?

We are perhaps inclined to think of the devil, or the world around us with all the temptations it offers to us. That is almost our reflex. But however true this reflex may be; the enemy resides especially within ourselves.

They are our selfish desires, which endanger our soul (1 Peter 2:11). They are our own desires, which entice us and drag us along (James 1:14). And especially because they reside within us, they are so dangerous.

Why do many temptations from outside have so much appeal for us? Because they connect with what is inside us. With our wrong desires. The desires that we know to hide expertly, but which do not take much to be stimulated (into action).

Let us say that those desires were not there, then things would be much easier. If I would not have any sexual desires, I would not be tempted so easily by certain shows on TV or certain sites on the internet.

If I would not have any desire to have our own things, then I would be insensitive toward money and possessions. Or if I was not interested in alcohol, I would never be concerned about perhaps drinking too much.

So, self-control is needed to put the brakes on all those wrong and self-absorbed desires within us. If I would let loose the reins, and I would just receive everything which comes at me, then I resemble a city without walls.

Why did the Israelite feel safe in the city? Because there were walls around the city which were meters high and also meters thick. A height of 10 meters and a thickness of 6 meters was no exception. Those surely kept the enemies outside.

But if those walls are taken down, yes, then trouble starts. And we ourselves are exactly in such danger if we do not show self-control. I want to show that in three ways.

Your Body🔗

First your body. What sort of temptations do you deal with on a daily basis? And do not think right away now of all kind of sexual temptations. Those are often mentioned right away. Or drunkenness, which also has a similar “first place” status.

What was a discovery for me, is that eating too much is also viewed in the Bible as (having) a lack of self-control. And then I am not thinking of those people who have an addiction for food, but just folks like you and me, who should be able to control themselves, but do not do it.

When Paul writes a short letter to Titus at Crete, then he rather accentuates this form of self-control. He even thought that to be a first requirement for the elders in the congregation of Crete. To exhibit self-control when eating. The elders had to avoid being called liars, evil beasts, and lazy gluttons (Titus 1:12), such as most people from Crete. Only good examples would bring forth good followers.

It becomes obvious that not only with drinking (too much), but also in eating you can cross the line. And we do not always realize that, I think. Especially the intake of food seems to be a fairly neutral activity. So, you can eat too much, but then you become nauseous, or you get a stomach-ache. But that you can cross the line in this with God?

The Bible says: just stop and think about that. How are you bringing honour to God with your body as it pertains to eating? Do you practice in this a certain measure of self-control? For also in our eating and drinking we must glorify God, Paul says not without reason in 1 Corinthians 10:31.

Self-control of your body: that is about sexual temptations, drinking, and eating. But also think about how you are using your time. We do not find ourselves lazy too quickly. We work hard, we maintain our home, and we do not have enough time for our hobbies and our social contacts. We…, lazy? Nah, not really.

But look at the life of Jesus. What did he do the most? What took the most of his time? Prayer!

How often did he not go to a lonely place to pray there? If needed, in the middle of the night.

How strong are we in (doing) that? How much time, how many minutes a day, do we spend in conversation with God? Having a real relationship with God, you do not just slip that in. You must invest in that. The more I let myself be fed with the Word of God, the more I find the strength to battle against temptations and weaknesses, and to grow in those battles.

Your Thoughts🔗

A second area where self-control is important, is your thoughts. Not only our body, also our thoughts we must submit to God (Gal. 5:24). That becomes very clear for example from the Sermon on the Mount. Jesus says there that anyone who follows him is to keep his heart and thoughts pure. If you look at a woman with lustful intent, you have already committed adultery with her in your heart (Matt. 5:28).

Job realized his weakness in this. So, he made this covenant with himself and said: “I have made a covenant with my eyes; how then could I gaze at a virgin?” (Job 31:1). For he knew: a lustful look leads fast to a sinful thought. If that applied to him then already, how much more for us in our time.

Paul says it very well. He says: “We…take every thought captive to obey Christ” (2 Cor. 10:5). With this he means: admit when you sin with your thoughts, bring them to Christ, and let Christ have dominion over your thoughts.

Control over your thoughts has those two sides: not only that you battle against sinful thoughts, such as wrong desires, greed, being jealous, egotistical. It also means positively, that you steer your thoughts toward those things that God finds pleasant and pleasing.

When I focus my thoughts on what makes God happy, then that also has a positive effect on my thoughts. Just imagine; when I cannot stand someone, because I am jealous, for example, of his skills, then very quickly I have negative thoughts of that person. But if I am simply content with what I have, and with who I am, then jealousy will not pop up very fast. Solomon therefore says that we should especially keep our heart with all vigilance (Pr. 4:23).

It is in your heart where thoughts are formed and shaped. That is where sin starts. It does not start spontaneously. It is already somewhere in your head, for you have thought about it. You have thought of it. And therefore, self-control of your thoughts is the first line of defense in the battle against your sins.

Your Feelings🔗

The last area to train ourselves to be self-controlled in, is our feelings. And that is quite something. For we all have our (regular) episodes when we briefly let ourselves go. Over against our children, over against each other as husband and wife. Or just when for the umpteenth time you encounter the same irritating situation at your work.

Then all of a sudden you can explode. For we just do not control ourselves properly all the time.

No, but we must learn to control our negative feelings, says the Bible. And then I think of feelings such as those of a hothead, feelings of anger, hate, but also those of self-pity and bitterness. In Hebrews 2:15, it says e.g., “See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no ‘root of bitterness’ springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.”

Anger, bitterness, those are not only evils with which you damage others, but also you yourself are taking on more damage than you perhaps think. Under the skin of your life, something grows that destroys you from the inside, and that also endangers your relationship with God.

That is what the Bible is warning us against.

This does not mean that nothing negative arises anymore in our thoughts when we work on controlling our feelings. Someone whom we do not like almost automatically generates negative thoughts in us. That is how we are wired. But if you really want to serve God, then you have learned to control those tendencies. Negative feelings often pop up just like that, but to also express those feelings, that is something else. We can put the brakes on that.

That is not easy. It is not without reason that Proverbs 16:32 says, “he who rules his spirit is better than he who takes a city”. Why is that? Well, a city you conquered once off, and then you were done. The battle against your negative feelings, that is fought your whole life.

All those negative feelings have one thing in common: they are directed toward ourselves.

They place in the centre of our lives our disappointments, our hurt pride, our broken dreams.

And when you keep feeding those feelings, then you become — for example — in due time someone who not just has some bitter feelings, but someone who is bitter. And that is a poor life, devoid of joy.

The Spirit🔗

Whoever does not control his spirit, and who is not in control of him/herself, that person resembles a city without walls (i.e., no protection). A clear warning from Proverbs 25:28.

But even more important is that you know where you get the strength for your self-control.

Self-control is not some inner power of which the one person has more than the next person.

It is a fruit of the spirit (Gal. 5:22).

That means it is not a matter of pure willpower. Self-control is the result of what God works in me. God’s Spirit is to be at work in me.

But when the Spirit is working in me, when the Spirit is taking care of things (in me), then I will also notice that. The Spirit will change me to the image of Christ. It is up to me if I also give the Spirit the room to work in me.

Each day, God asks of me: read your Bible, pray each day, that you may grow in self-control.

The control of your body. But also, the control over your thoughts, and the control over your feelings.

That prayer is needed till the end of our lives.

Then you keep your weak spots. You remain vulnerable, you do not suddenly become immune to sin. But you do not battle sin by yourself anymore.

For the Spirit of Christ battles and prays along with you.

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