The Christian life is a battle. As be­lievers, we are called to fight the good fight of faith. The thing is though, this fight is unlike any other. It is a spiritual combat. As we read in Ephesians 6:10-12, 'be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.' The spiritual nature of our battle re­quires that we engage a different tar­get than what we might normally ex­pect, with a different goal. We fight against sin, as it manifests itself in the world, and even more importantly, as it manifests itself in our own sinful hearts.

One of the ways we show we are sin­ners is when we demonstrate ungodly hostility. So it follows, then, that one of the things we will be fighting against is: fighting. In some ways, our conflict is against engaging in conflict. Proverbs 13:10 can offer us much wisdom in this particular aspect of our spiritual fight. We read in this verse: 'By pride comes nothing but strife, but with the well-advised is wisdom.' Let's take a closer at what this verse tells us.

Do You Love Strife?⤒🔗

The word we have translated here as 'strife' can also be translated 'contention,' or 'quarrels.' It's a word related to the Hebrew word for 'struggle.'

There is so much strife in this world, isn't there? So many quarrels. In fact, some people seem to enjoy be­ing argumentative. They will be diffi­cult just for the sake of picking a fight. This should not be the case with Christians. Oh, sometimes the Chris­tian will have conflict thrust upon him simply because of the fact that the unbelieving world hates the truth and will fight against it. We should be mindful not to shrink away from this, in a misguided attempt to find a com­promising peace where there is no peace. But at the same time, this should not be about finding pleasure in being cantankerous.

The same word in Proverbs 13:10 translated as 'strife' is also found Proverbs 17:19: 'Whoever loves transgression loves strife.' You could turn that around and say that if you love strife, you love transgression. You love quarreling, you love sin. Christians are not supposed to love sin. They are supposed to hate it and flee from it. But if you love strife, if you enjoy getting into arguments and making others upset, if you deliberately act in a manner that provokes hostility for its own sake, then you are not acting as a Christian should. In Isaiah 58:4 we read, 'Behold, you fast only to quarrel and to fight and to hit with a wicked fist. Fasting like yours this day will not make your voice to be heard on high.' If you are participating in so-called religious ac­tivity, such as attending a worship service, while your heart is full of strife, do not expect your worship to be pleasing in the sight of God. Do not expect the Lord your God to hear your prayers.

The reason for this is quite simple: a quarreling heart and the Christian heart are inconsistent with each other. We read in James 3:17, 18: 'But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.' Christian wis­dom is peace-loving. This is not some simple-minded cliché that we can ignore whenever it doesn't suit us. This is the word of God.

We can't escape this truth. The quarrelsome heart must be strug­gled against. The word of God demands it.

Strife is the Result of Pride←⤒🔗

It's so clear what the Bible requires here. But it's so difficult to live it out. We should love peace, and yet we fight so much. We should hate quarrels, and yet we find our­selves in the middle of so many of them, little ones and big ones. Why is this? What is it about our hearts that makes them so inclined toward conflict? Well, turning back to Proverbs 13:10, 'By pride comes nothing but strife.' Pride leads to strife. The reason why there is so much conflict in the world, in our homes, and even in our churches, can be summed up in one word: pride.

God hates pride in the human heart. Proverbs 6:16, 17 tells us that a proud look is an abomination to the Lord.

The thing is though, while it is rela­tively easy to understand how the Lord really hates the proud of heart, it does not seem to be quite so easy to recognize it in our own hearts. We're quick to spot it in other peo­ple, but not so quick to admit we have our own problems with pride. Perhaps Proverbs 13:10 can help us see just how big a problem this is for us. 'By pride comes nothing but strife.' To put it simply, we should be able to tell if our hearts are filled with pride if we see the results of having a pride-filled heart. If you are involved in many quarrels, if your life is filled with strife, perhaps it is because you are simply too proud.

Often we are involved in some quar­rel because we feel that our rights have somehow been abused. We feel that we must defend ourselves. We have been sinned against, so we lash out against the one whom we perceive as having wronged us. Are we not within our rights to quarrel when this happens? After all, we did­n't start it! It's not our fault! But what makes us feel that our rights have been abused? Could it be pride? What is it that makes us think we have to defend ourselves? Could it be pride?

Sometimes it is better to be wronged than it is to fight back. 1 Corinthians 6 provides an illustration of this. We read there about lawsuits among be­lievers. Verse 7 tells us, 'Now there­fore, it is already an utter failure for you that you go to law against one another. Why do you not rather ac­cept wrong? Why do you not rather let yourselves be cheated?' Why not rather be wronged? Is it that we are too proud to let ourselves be wronged?

Sometimes we might mask our pride in the guise of trying to defend the truth. We are concerned for right­eousness, for biblical justice. We will be very quarrelsome under the pre­tense that we must be that way in order to defend God's honor and truth.

But if defending the truth makes you quarrelsome and bitter, then you are not heeding the whole truth that you are supposed to be defending. Re­member, the truth of God is the truth that commands us to seek peace.

Seeking Advice Instead of Seek­ing Conflict←⤒🔗

The second half of Proverbs 13:10 provides further wisdom in all of this. 'But with the well-advised is wisdom.' Or as the ESV puts it, 'but with those who take advice is wisdom.' You're willing to listen to advice, you're show­ing wisdom.

The way this proverb is set up, the second half basically gives us the op­posite of the first half. The first half of the proverb tells us about those who are quarrelsome and unwise. The second half shows us the opposite. It speaks of those who are not so proud that they are unwilling to listen to ad­vice.

And by the way, when we say this, we do not mean that the wise will simply follow advice whenever it is conven­ient for them, whenever it pleases them. The proud person might say he's willing to listen to advice, it's just that he's rarely ever given advice that's worth following. For some rea­son, he's always right!

No, the one who is wise is the one who is truly willing to recognize that he does not have all the answers. He recognizes that he is not the only one who knows about how to live the Christian life. The wise person does not always have to prove himself to be right, but he is willing to recognize the wisdom God has given to other people.

The one who is wise will have an atti­tude of humility. As we read in Philip­pians 2:3 — 'Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each es­teem others better than himself.' Esteem others better than ourselves. That at least means being willing to listen to what they have to say to us.

Humbly Looking for Good Advice←⤒🔗

Of course, it has to be said that we can't always follow everyone's advice. Sometimes we're given poor advice.

The same word found in Proverbs 13:10 that speaks of being well ad­vised is also used in the Bible to speak of false advice that we should reject.

So, how can we know where to find good advice?

Well, in Psalm 32:8 we read of the Lord saying to his people: 'I will in­struct you and teach you in the way you should go.' First of all, the coun­sel we must pay particular attention to is the counsel of the Lord as He re­veals it in Scripture. God's counsel is not something we should feel free to take or leave, depending on how we feel about it. We must listen to it, submit to it, and follow it.

Of course, we are not going to pay heed to the counsel of the Lord if our hearts are filled with pride. As we read in Psalm 25:9, 'The humble He guides in justice, And the hum­ble He teaches His way.' You will not be able to heed the counsel of God unless you bow before Him in complete humility. If you are proud, you might read your Bible regularly, you might even know what it says in a lot of places, but you will not have the true wisdom of God in your heart. You will only read in the Bi­ble what you want to read, you will not be truly submitting to its mes­sage.

But now, there is something else we must also keep in mind. While the counsel of the Lord is primary, we must remember that counsel can also come from those around us. The word in Proverbs 13:10 that refers to being well-advised is not only through the Bible directly, but also refers to the advice and coun­sel that one human gives to an­other.

We have to recognize that God will work through the members of His Church. To be sure, we must make sure that the counsel we receive from others is consistent with the word of God. But at the same time we shouldn't be so conceited and proud as to think that we're the only ones who really know what God has to say in His Word. We should con­tinue to develop an attitude of humil­ity, and appreciate the fact that each of us is only one member of the body of Christ, and that God has given gifts to others within the body — gifts we can learn from.

With this attitude of humility, we will probably find that the number of inappropriate conflicts we engage in diminishes, leaving us free to fight the good fight of faith in a manner that is more consistent with the Word of God.