Proverbs 11:12 says, ‘a man of understanding remains silent.’ This doesn’t speak well for those of us who are preachers, does it? We would not remain in our calling very long if we remained silent whenever we step onto the pulpit. The whole point of preaching is to speak, to proclaim, to exposit with words what the Bible says.

And as a congregation, we respond to God’s Word with our tongues. We sing the psalms in praise to God. It would not be very good for you to hold your tongue, keep silent, when the precentor starts singing and you’re called to join in.

Or how about what we do after church? We wouldn’t have a whole lot of fellowship taking place if we all stood around saying nothing. But be­ing able to speak, we can catch up with one another and ask each other how we are doing. We grow in our communion of the saints, sharing with one another in words our struggles and our joys.

Words are Necessary⤒🔗

The ability to sing, or just to speak, to convey ideas with words, it’s such an incredible blessing. And more than that, we wouldn’t be able to function without it. We need to be able to communicate.

For instance, a parent wanting to warn her child about danger needs to speak in order to help the child to un­derstand how he could be hurt, so he can avoid the danger.

Another example of necessary speech is found in Proverbs 11:14 (just two verses after the statement extolling the virtues of silence) — ‘Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counsel­ors there is safety.’ This verse speaks of the necessity of leaders having many advisors if their nation is not to fall.

Now, we might be under the impres­sion that the leaders of our own par­ticular nation are not always listen­ing to the wisest of advisors. We might even imagine we could do a better job than their current advisors telling them how they should run the country. But regardless, we would have to concede that things would be a whole lot worse if our leaders did not have any advisors whatsoever. The Prime Minister and other members of government have to have numerous advisors if they are to fulfill the role they have been given; advisors such as MPs from their own party, opposition MPs, non-elected assistants and bureau­crats, etc.

The whole matter of giving advice and receiving it requires communi­cation. People have to talk with one another. In fact, the whole point of having a parliament with a govern­ing party and an opposition party is so that policies and decisions can be debated. This involves having words fly back and forth. Now, we might question the manner in which issues are debated and the childish ways in which some of the discussions in Par­liament are conducted. But it would still be worse if they didn’t have any discussion at all, if they all kept silent. We can’t do without words in government, and in every area of life. And we can be very grateful to God that he has given us the ability to make use of words, both in being able to offer our words to others and in being able to receive and understand others words to us.

What makes the blessing of words all the more amazing is the manner in which God Himself makes use of words. God spoke, and creation came into being. God communicated with us in the most intense and per­sonal way possible via His Son, the Word. And words are the means God has chosen to enable us to know Him and enter into fellowship with Him. God communicates to us via the words of Scripture, words that are written down and spoken. God works by His Holy Spirit working through His holy, inspired, infallible and inerrant Word.

Sometimes it’s Better to Keep Si­lent←⤒🔗

With words serving such a crucial pur­pose, you would think that it would be best to constantly make use of them, without ever letting up. Words are our friends, so silence must be our en­emy, right?

And yet, there are also times when words should be avoided. There are times when we should hold our tongue and keep silent.

A portion of Proverbs 11:12 was quoted at the beginning of this article. Consider now the whole verse. It points us to one instance where si­lence is preferable to speech.

Whoever belittles his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of understanding remains silent.

The way in which this proverb is struc­tured makes it clear that the two parts of this verse are connected with one another. They are focusing on the same truth, presenting it in two differ­ent ways. The point then is obvious: you should hold your tongue, rather than deride your neighbor. You should remain silent, rather than show any contempt you may have in your heart for those around you. If your words are derogatory, then it would be wise just to keep them to yourself and not say anything.

Not only can communication in words be used by God to work in and through us, it can also be a tool used by our sinful hearts to serve wicked purposes. The very same tool that can do so much good can also do so much evil.

If that’s what we’re going to be using our words for, it would be better to not use words at all. If we find ourselves tempted to use words to sin, it would be better for us to just simply shut our mouths.

Ask yourself this: in the past week, how many times have you spoken words that put other people down? Perhaps you believe someone at work is incompetent, so you look down on him with contempt, and you’re happy enough to communicate that con­tempt to him, or to others.

Parents, how many times have you spoken with others about your chil­dren, indicating that you believe them to be a burden? How many times have you spoken to your children in a way that is designed to tear them down rather than build them up? How many times have you spoken down about your brothers and sisters in the Lord? Maybe they have said something to you or about you that you believe put you down. You may need to use words to respond, but should you respond in kind? Does their speaking down about you give you right to speak down about them?

Your Words Say Something About You←⤒🔗

Proverbs 11:12 tells us that when you deride your neighbor, you are showing that you lack sense. Other translations speak of lacking judg­ment, or being devoid of wisdom. The word translated as ‘lack’ sug­gests a void, it speaks of not having something you need. The word translated ‘sense’ refers to our inner being, conscience, mind: our heart. When you deride others, you show there is something missing inside of you. There is a void in your heart. What you are saying says more about who you are, what is inside of you, than it says about those of whom you are speaking ill.

You know, it often happens that when we’re listening to a person deriding someone else, we’re inclined to want to believe him. The act of talking with one another about someone else creates a kind of ca­maraderie. We appreciate this per­son’s willingness to talk to us, to share his difficulties with us. We want to show our solidarity with him by taking their comments on board and looking down on the person he is deriding.

And yet, how often does it happen that when we hear the other side of the story, a different picture emerges. So we need to be careful about taking on board everything negative we hear about other peo­ple, especially before we in turn re­peat those negative comments to others. We need to remember that listening to folks speaking ill of oth­ers often says more about the per­son speaking to you than about the people they are speaking of.

Oh, we can justify our sinful words so easily. We’re simply expressing our concern for our family, for our workplace, our church, or whatever. We say what we say out of love. But do we really?

Remember the words of Ephesians 4:29: ‘Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.’ The teaching of Philippians 2:3 & 4 is also helpful here: ‘Do nothing from selfish ambi­tion or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than your­selves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.’ Are your words about others motivated by selfish ambition and vain conceit, or are they motivated by a desire to build up both your hearer and the person you are talking about. Are you elevat­ing yourself, or others?

But don’t we sometimes just need to vent? After all, it would not be healthy for us to hold our resentment to our­selves so that it builds up to the point where we explode, right? No, it wouldn’t be. But the problem is not our lack of opportunity to vent our re­sentment; the problem is the resentment itself.

Mind you, the point here is not to say that we can never say anything nega­tive. The old saying goes that if you can’t say anything good, don’t say anything at all. But sometimes you need to criticize, not to vent, nor to elevate yourself, but to help your lis­tener grow.

But be careful here. Examine your motives. Ask yourself what purpose you hope to accomplish. And if you are not sure your motivations are good, then maybe it would be better to simply keep your mouth shut. When you’re inclined to use words to ill effect, remember the words of 1 Peter 2:21-23:

Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in His steps. He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in His mouth. When He was reviled, He did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but continued entrusting Himself to Him who judges justly.

Christ had every right to retaliate, to look down on sinners, to speak ill of those committing this utter travesty against him. But He didn’t. And by His silence, He was working toward the accomplishment of your salva­tion.

So, appreciate the wisdom and vir­tue of sometimes shutting up. In­stead of having your words prove you have a void in your heart, fill that void with love. You might think that there won’t be anything left for you to say. But you might also find that using words to build up gives you more than enough to talk about.