A daily newspaper published a response by Steven Middelkoop to a study by an evangelical broadcaster. It was a study of the perceptions about sexuality among young people. One of the most remarkable outcomes was that more than half of the respondents indicated regret of sexual intercourse before marriage. In his response Middelkoop draws attention to the huge influence which watching films has on the sexual experience of young people. His title is: “Especially films debit to sex”. I wish to highlight parts of the response, convinced that he has a point.

Reconnoitring⤒🔗

While youngsters grow to maturity they get to know life. They rise and fall throughout many experiences. This includes learning to deal with money, use of leisure time, but also the area of love and sexuality. In psychology this is called the phase of “exploration”. The child loosens the bonds with his parents and explores the boundaries of his own existence. It teaches parents to pray: “Hold onto them, Lord”.

In life we learn many things by the example of others. Young people are surrounded by two sorts of guides: instructors and tempters. Parents, teachers and youth leaders are the ones to show them the way through life. They have a Bible in hand, and go about their task in dependence on the Lord. At the same time all sorts of tempters challenge youngsters to reconnoitre all that life has to offer. Advertisements, media onslaught and friends draw them into the stimulating world of immediate enjoyment and relaxation. Youngsters are continually weighing and assessing between the message of their instructors and the tempters.

Regular Ingredients←⤒🔗

The current generation of youngsters growing up is strongly influenced by watching films. Through studies conducted among a diverse group of church youth organizations it appears that nearly all young people make use of this medium. It is my conviction that film is one of the strongest temptations of our time. Film makers know that the inclusion of sex scenes will prove a strong selling point. The image that they project with these scenes has several regular ingredients. First of all sex in the film is a normal succession to a love relationship, conducted apart from marriage. Next, both man and woman experience the sexual relationship in the same manner, which is much closer to lust than love.

Young people learn from this that sexual intercourse belongs to the early beginnings of a relationship. There is no talk of a careful deepening of growth toward one another: in no time at all actors are sharing a bed. To top it off the love relationship appears to last just as long as it is relevant to direct happiness and sensual pleasure.

It is my conviction that this continuous exposure to such like images has a lasting influence on the (love) relationships of maturing young people. Added to this is the large number of young people that watch pornography. Sometimes this starts at thirteen years old. This means of influence goes further than a regular sex scene in a film. Porno is about lust, violence and power. It sickens the spirit. From discussions with young people it becomes apparent that images from the pornography world influence them lifelong, also when married.

Beating Around the Bush←⤒🔗

Educators should not be naive when thinking about the influence of films. When we ascertain that the tempters of this time throw their whole weight behind the theme of sexuality, the educators cannot lag behind. The flood of images around sexuality that are not in line with the biblical message of love and faithfulness, demand an honest answer. This means that parents, teachers, youth workers can no longer beat around the bush when speaking about sexuality. Should we do that we are leaving the influencing of the youngsters’ thinking over to the devil.

Young people have no beef with radical thinking. They do with hypocrisy. Whereas they combine diverse worlds themselves, they expect mature people to be resolute in following what they teach. When instructors speak about sexuality according to biblical norms, their own life should serve as a testament to that. The best example that parents can give their maturing children is a marriage of love and faithfulness. In addition talk openly about what sexuality is, but also about what the Lord did not mean. 

The study conducted by the evangelical broadcaster showed that 71 percent of young people canvassed wished to remain a virgin till marriage. That is a pretty big group. Let us, as instructors and teachers, form a wall of protection around them. By regularly having an open discussion, and where possible giving them tips on how to live a pure life in their interactions and relationships before marriage. Dealing with love and sexuality calls for constant dependence on God. Where the devil aims his arrows serves to make us that more conscious of our total submission at the foot of our Lord Jesus. Praying for repentance and preservation. So that our young men do not become robbers but knights. And our young women are not articles for consumption, but are loved unconditionally by the man of their life.