He wanted to die. For his life had become unbearable and the suffering was hopeless.

In the newspaper an impressive report was printed about his final hours. His whole family was present. Considered carefully, he drinks the deadly cup, handed to him by a physician from the end-of-life clinic. And in less than half an hour he is dead.

In the Bible we also read about people who long for death:

• Elijah does not want to live anymore after he hears that Jezebel wants to kill him (1 Kings 19:4);
• Job curses the day he was born when he realizes that he has lost everything (Job 3:1 ff). He does not find peace or quiet, he has no rest (Job 3:26);
• Jeremiah wished to be dead when his people turn against him because he brings thema dreadful message (Jer. 20:14 ff).

A few days later we read in the same newspaper that approximately 85,000 elderly in The Netherlands have a death wish. Only a small portion of them will act on their wish.

How many of these 85,000 people would be Christians?

Unbearable and Hopeless⤒🔗

Also among Christians lives a desire for death. Mostly in moments when they do not experience life as pleasant anymore. And otherwise, that desire is present in the immediate vicinity around them. To see a loved one deteriorate and suffer is a hard thing to look at. And what if the doctor said that there will be no healing anymore. You will be psychologically confused so that you are unable to find rest.

How are you to appraise such a desire? Is it wrong to long for death?

The Dutch Society for Voluntary Ending One’s Life (NVVE) has as starting point of view that each person should be in charge of his/her own death. If you as a patient are of the opinion that your suffering is unbearable and has become hopeless, then you must try to convince your physician of this. And if he agrees then you may ask him for euthanasia.

That sounds different from the five biblical lines that J. Douma brings to our attention:

• Man is created after the image of God. Therefore, he may not seize the life of himself or of another person (Gen. 9:6, Ex. 20:13);
• Christ shows care and compassion for lives which in our estimation have become meaningless (Matt. 12:20);
• God teaches in the Bible no absolute respect for life. Sometimes life can be done.
  ​But God does ask absolute respect for the Lord of life (Deut. 32:39);
• God gives means to battle suffering. Christ fights against sin and death (1 Cor. 15:24-26);
• There may be a desire for death, as after our death we will be with Christ (Phil 1:23).

To Die is Gain←⤒🔗

We ponder Paul’s words in Philippians 1:21-24. The first impression is that the apostle is one of many who in the misery of his life longs to be dead. His is in prison. The active missionary has been de-commissioned.

And the perspective of life is humanly speaking not very rosy. His life does not seem to have much meaning anymore. But his desire for death is not in the first place a desire for rest. It is also not a liberation from the misery he encounters. For Paul, to die is to meet with Christ.

And that is what he longs for. For Christ is his life.

Here on earth, he is completely in the service of Christ. And then to die is only gain: to be face to face with his Lord. Then he will fully know Christ (1 Cor. 13:12).

To Enjoy←⤒🔗

Paul is not the only person who puts his desire for Christ into words. In church history, theologians wrote regularly about their desire for the Homeland. In their writings they bring to our attention the biblical notion of being a stranger (in a strange land). Christians are citizens of heaven (Phil. 3:20). On earth they are strictly speaking “on their way”. Our earthly life is no more than a preparation for eternity. At times they almost went overboard in their writing by showing contempt for life on earth. As if Paul did not write to Timothy that we may enjoy the good gifts that we receive here on earth (1 Tim. 4:4).

Not a Final Destination←⤒🔗

Behind the desire to meet with Christ is the conviction that Jesus Christ lives. He has conquered death. He has the keys of death and Hades (Rev. 1:18).

And that is why death no longer has the last word (1 Cor. 15). Jesus promised that you shall live when you believe in him, even when you have died (John 11:25, 26). Your life continues, but then without the brokenness which at times may trouble you so much here on earth. To die is not a final destination for Christians. It is not a payment for our sins either. It is merely putting an end to sin, and an entrance into eternal life (Heidelberg Catechism, Q/A 42).

The Past←⤒🔗

With this, death has not become a friend yet. Paul, who lives in the (knowledge of the) resurrection of Christ, also calls death an enemy. But he calls it an enemy which has been destroyed (1 Cor. 15:26). To die is not a feast, for dying is to let go. You are torn from what you loved here on earth and those who were dear to you. And that hurts. But behind the portal of death real life awaits. Life in glory bears no relation to anything that is present on earth in regard to suffering (Rom. 8:18). A glory where tears, death, mourning, lament and pain will be in the past (Rev. 21:4).

Against this background, a longing for death is quite understandable. Especially with Christians who have (had) much to endure in their lives.

Meaningful←⤒🔗

Let us go back to Paul in Philippians 1:21-24. He writes there about his desire to be with Christ. But he is not completely absorbed by that desire. It is his sincere wish to be fruitful for Christ. And as long as that is the case, Paul prefers to continue to live on earth. And he leaves it up to God to determine for how long that will be.

A desire for death often stands against the background that life on earth is not meaningful anymore. At least not in the eyes of the person himself. Why would you continue to live if you are only a burden to those around you? And when those around you continually pay for you?

But who is best suited to determine if a human life is still meaningful and for how long? Is it not the Creator of life, and he who maintains all life on earth? He will not let a creature live longer when their life is not meaningful anymore.

I realize that those are words of faith. But they bring peace to me, although sometimes the question gnaws at me too, how meaningful the life of some fellow (wo)men still is.