Not every believer stands equally strong in their faith. Sometimes, in difficult times, you think wrongly of God or say wrong things about him. Did you deny him then at those moments? And does he deny you then as well…? These are, at times, questions that can make one afraid. It can be that someone thinks of himself that it will never be something good, because in fact he continually denies God. Will the Lord deny him then as well, and in time say to him: “I have never known you”?

Not By Accident⤒🔗

Then it can be helpful to realize that “denying” does not just happen without you wanting it.

That is not the image we receive from the Bible. A well-known example is Peter. He had his denial prepared long beforehand, you could say, because every word from Jesus about His suffering and death, Peter had rejected. He wanted to do everything for Jesus, but in his eyes, Jesus was not the Lamb of God. Is that not denying him? That is saying: “It is not You”, while he in fact is it. That denial brought Peter, in the night of betrayal, so far that up to three times he said loudly that he did not know Jesus. “He is not my Lord, and not my Master”. Peter would have fought until death, but he did not wish to belong to a Jesus who gave himself up.

Sadly, this story has been taken over by Children’s Bible stories, in which Peter’s denial is explained with sudden fear. That places denial in quite a different light, as if it were a shock reaction, which you can have just like that, before you realize it. But we do not read about that fear with Peter. On top of that, he could freely walk in and out of the garden of the high priest, even after he had been recognized three times.

Abraham denied Sarah, by not saying that she was his wife. He had prepared to act like this, carefully thought through. Albeit led by being unsure and afraid, but in his right mind.

When Joseph’s brothers sold Joseph as a slave, they did not view him anymore as their brother. They denied him when they received the sales price in their hands. But that had been a process that had taken years; the hatred was not a sudden surge.

The “lost son” denied his father, by asking for his inheritance when his father was still alive. His father got in the way of his happiness by continuing to live. Surely the son had not thought of this in just five minutes time; such a plan ripens in your thoughts before it is executed.

Do Not Lead Me’←⤒🔗

The importance of this distinction will be clear: an accident, a sudden thought, or a shock reaction you cannot predict. But a choice you prepare beforehand!

Against a whim you cannot do very much, although it can be very sinful. But of a choice you can ask yourself: “What am I doing here?”

Denial arises for example at a fork in the road, when you have a choice between doing your own thing or listening to God. You can have very strong thoughts of your own, or your own desires, that you choose to follow your own path, even when you know that God thinks differently about it.

The sad thing is that people who do this can say: “but I continue to believe eh!” Or: “God surely understands me”. Apparently, it escapes them, that, while at the fork in the road, they in fact say: “You are not the One who leads me. You are not the One with the deciding voice in my life”. And that is now exactly the denial of the Lord, and the seriousness of it.

Such choices are often driven by our own desires. But not from the one to the next moment. It is usually a slow but steady process of more and more giving in to your own thoughts and continually becoming less sensitive to the intense love of God. On that road there comes a time then that you turn openly in another direction. A moment when you say to God: “You are not the One who looks after my happiness, I take care of that.”

It seems important to me that in pastoral work this is actually named as “denying the Lord”, despite all the nice tales that can be woven around this. Especially because all these tales, it is necessary to be extremely clear about this. To discover people by their own heart. And also, because the people around us can often react very accommodatingly and understandingly, completely wrong. In the way of “we understand you, go ahead”. Yes, that is not very difficult, as we people understand everything when we just consult our own feelings.

“You are not important”←⤒🔗

Another choice you can make is that you consistently have no time for the Lord. That is something that seems to occur more and more. Due to the busy-ness at school and at work, there is hardly time for listening to the Word. People rush out the door in the morning, are under pressure all day and return home tired and done in. Then there is no oomph anymore for spiritual matters.

That can happen at times.

It can even happen for a long time.

But if it continually happens, so that you have hardly any time for God in your everyday life, then you are making a choice. Then in fact you are saying to God: “You are not the One who deserves the most attention in my life.” Even when you do not say it literally, it is possible to deny God with your deeds. That is how Paul writes in his letter to Titus. In Titus 1:16 it says that “They profess to know God, but they deny him by their works.” That is put very nicely; in the Greek Paul uses the strong word that they deny God. The way that people set up their way of life, speaks for itself: even when he confesses the Lord with his mouth, in practice he can make clear repeatedly: “You are not important, in any case not as important as my planning”.

Then I will not even talk about time and space for the work of the Lord, to give yourself there as an instrument in His hand. If it becomes a habit, to answer that regularly with: “no time, not now, some other time”, it can easily become a choice that you are apparently making. Then in

what you are doing, you are saying to the Lord: “What You are doing is not as important as what I am doing.” How dare you! And what are you actually all doing then, and how much lasting value does that have?

I Cannot Trust You←⤒🔗

And what do you say in your prayers? Central is that you surrender yourself to God, especially to Jesus Christ, who bought us with his precious blood. “Lord, You are my life, I want to be (there) for You”.

This is how we entrust ourselves to him.

And we offer him our lives.

We know what he is working on, to reach people everywhere with his love, and his redemption. He wants to do that for us. He makes us his feet, to go to people. He makes us his eyes, to see people. He makes us his ears, to listen to people. He makes us his hands, to help other people. He makes us his voice, to speak to the hearts of people.

To be a Christian is to sacrifice: you lay down your life in his hands. You dedicate your life to him. But do you really do that?

Can you honestly say that?

Or are you perhaps not saying that?

Are you perhaps not saying it systematically?

Do you normally not get around to that at all, and do you keep your life in your own hands?

Then in one way or another that same denial is entering your life. And we see again: it is not a shock, not a whim, but a choice.

A choice that becomes clear from what you say or from what you do not say.

When you request in your prayer all kind of things, but do not start by giving your life to Him, then something is blocking. Especially in exciting times this becomes extremely important.

First speak (about) that trust. For if you do not do that, then an awkward silence follows. A silence which is actually saying: “I cannot trust You”.

Paul writes to Timothy about people, who are having the appearance of godliness, but are denying its power (2 Tim. 3:5). They systematically deny how powerful it is, to surrender your life to God. And to realize with how much power the Lord works, in them and through them to others. Such denial leads to a state where in the end they do not see God anymore.

God Does Not Deny Himself←⤒🔗

For God does not deny himself. That is impossible, for he cannot lie. It is impossible for God to say: “I am not he”. He cannot support that and cannot travel that road with anyone. Therefore, it is so important that people realize they are facing a fork in the road every time when they ask: “Who is God in your life?” On the one road he goes along, but not on the other road. He does not let himself be denied.

The more surprising is his grace and his faithfulness, when he can still find those children who are lost. Lost amongst the pigs, arises the thought: “Father is there.” But you cannot count on that grace when you decide to choose for yourself.

We Deny Ourselves←⤒🔗

This is how the picture becomes clear that shows our self-denial. This is needed, to follow Jesus (Matt. 16:24), but it sounds so disgusting. When you hear people say that, then they are worthless. But that is not true, and it is also not the point.

The point is that with your whole life you learn to say: “Lord, You are my life, I belong to You, I trust You, I follow You”. When you say “You”, you point away from yourself, and say “no” to all your tendencies to self-determination. That is what this is about. You also do not do that on a whim, it is a deep choice: my life can only be life in You.