Some while ago a family holiday in Maclean, New South Wales, was enhanced by a 'discovery' of The Diary of Ann Smith,  with Memoir by the Rev W Smart, Fifth Edition, Edinburgh, 1876. ¹The following article gives enough of the diary to show why the Editor's wife took up her pen on behalf of this forgotten little treasure.

On April 15, 1773 Ann Smith was born at a farm near Bothwell in Lanark­shire, south east of Glasgow, Scotland. Her parents, farming peasants, were both earnest Christians who came originally from the area of Shotts. Ann was one of the younger children of a family of twelve, seven of whom died in infancy. When she was 10 years of age her parents moved to Longridge, near Whitburn, West Lothian, where they attended the Secession Church under the ministry of John Brown. Under the preaching of one who was the son of Brown of Haddington and the father of the John Brown whose com­mentaries are now widely reprinted, Ann Smith early gave evidence of spiritual concern. Her parents appear to have been tenant farmers at this time and would have paid annual rent of about L160 for 260 acres of land. Having fertilized the land with lime, the crops of turnip, corn, oats and potatoes were sown and pasture grown for the cattle and sheep. Crops were rotated over five years on some farms. It was not an easy life. Sometimes the crops were late in maturing because of cold, wet summers, or were blasted by storms and severe frosts before harvesting, causing great hardship. As prices for food rose ordinary people had a reduced amount of money to pur­chase necessities, as they had little to sell. We find Ann later recording in her diary:

Many are lamenting the dullness of trade and want of work, which is a judgment much felt; but how few are lamenting for our spiritual deadness and want of carrying on trade with heaven, whereby we might be made exceeding rich.

As was common at that time Ann only attended school for three months, due, in all probability, to the poverty of her parents, but what she did not gain in formal education was more than made up for in the home, where the parents sought to instruct their families, using as the basis for all learning the Bible and, in particular, the book of Proverbs.

 It has been observed that,

much of the shrewdness, sagacity and prudence by which the peasantry of this land have so long been distinguished may be traced to the care with which they were taught the maxims of the wisest of men, the practical appli­cation of the lessons so admirably conveyed in that inspired book, tending indeed to form the very character which we so often admire in the unlettered but Bible-taught peasantry, who compose so valuable a portion of our church membership.

These parents believed that education of itself was to be subservient to the main purpose, that of the promotion of the spiritual life of the young. Their lives were moulded by the practical application of the Scriptures. It has been said that Christian conversion changes the whole man, the intellect is elevated, the heart purified, the character exalted of those who have the least share of the advantages others have through edu­cation, leisure and wealth.

It would appear that through the regular attendance at worship and preaching services, and in the home, she was brought as a young person to faith and trust in Christ alone as Saviour and Lord. She spoke as a 10-year-­old of Christ being the only way for a lost sinner to be recovered.

In 1798 at the age of 25 Ann Smith married another farm servant from the farm on which she worked with her parents. Thomas Smellie, as we can see from the references in her diary, was a gracious Christian man. Four children were born to Ann and Thomas, and their home was all happiness until an event on May 23, 1807. That day it was discovered at lunch-time that their youngest child — a 2-year-old — had drowned in a stream adjoining their cottage. News was taken to the father who was working in the sur­rounding fields. Thomas Smellie was not a strong man, and he was so deva­stated by the shock of his loss of a dear child that he collapsed and died the next day. Thus, Ann Smellie, at the age of 34, was widowed and deprived of a child within 24 hours. While her sisters' husbands had purchased their own farms, they had been too poor to do this, but she derived special comfort from the words in Numbers 18:20.

A year following these seemingly tragic events, Ann began to keep a diary for her own comfort, not ever thinking anyone else would read her test­imonies to a gracious God and his keeping power. On June 11, 1808 we read:

O Lord, I here confess and acknowledge that not one good thing hath failed of all thou hast spoken, and made me believe, since this time twelve months. Thou hast been a husband to me according to Thy promise, far, far beyond my expectation or belief. Thou hast been better to me than ten children, the loveliest and best. Thou hast given me more, far more, contentment and satisfaction with my lot than the best husband and child on earth could have given. Thou hast done it: it is the Lord's doing and it is marvellous in mine eyes. I confess — I have often forgot my living Saviour and minded my dead relations, but Thou hast revived me again.

Having renewed her covenant with God for herself and her children, she continues:

As Thou halt seen meet to change my habitation I invite Thee to also dwell with me here, and all shall be well. Here I take Thee the most High for my habitation, and Thou wilt never bid me remove; here I take Thee for my inheritance and I shall never be poor: here I take Thee for my portion, and I shall be enriched for ever.

It was now the responsibility of this young woman to provide shelter and food for her three young children. These were the days when there was no state provision for those in such need, but her testimony despite 'many changes, ups and downs, both inward and outward' is to the unfailing goodness and mercy of her covenant-keeping God.

Ten years experience, since I was enabled more especially to cast the care of myself and the child­ren on the Lord, hath made me see that it is no vain thing to trust in the Lord, and still He seems not weary of caring for us. I think this last year excels any former years in rich experience of His loving kindness.

She thus found that God, according to His promises, is a husband to the widow and a father to the fatherless:

Let us still hope in God, who can supply with little as well as much. O my soul, wonder and admire at the long suffering and patience of my God. Though I have ten thousand times rebelled against Him, yet he has never cast me into prison. May His clemency melt my heart with love and gratitude.

At this particular time, 1817, there had been political agitation and the imprisonment of some for treason and rebellion seems to have given rise to some anxious thoughts and fears in Ann Smith. She writes, 'O my Jesus, I flee to Thee for safety'.

While placing her dependence upon God, Ann Smith displayed earnest industry and great diligence in the use of time. During the day she would work in the fields of the farm to help supply the needs of her three sons. At the same time she so organized her day that she found time to educate her children, being almost their sole teacher. As her parents had taught her, so she used the Bible and the Westminster Shorter Catechism as the basis for instruction. She was also careful to maintain family worship daily.

She writes:

O Lord my God, I herewith declare to be on thy side, and whatever others do, as for me and my house we will serve the Lord, I desire to solemnly devote myself and children to Thee.

When her children were old enough to leave home for work in other parts, she was thankful when they were able to find work and were healthy and strong, but her diary records how she cried to the Lord to have pity upon them, to keep them from sin and to make them servants of Christ. She complains how her 'heart aches in their absence', but comforts herself with:

Dear Lord Jesus, come Thyself and dwell with me. Thy presence can dispel every gloom and do more than make up every want.

Early in 1816 she records how one of her sons was nearly killed in an accident when a cart overturned. It was her habit to commit her absent children to the Lord night and morning from sin and danger, and on the day in ques­tion this son had been particularly laid on her heart. Although she anti­cipated no danger, observing this she notes:

How it filled me with joy and gratitude to think how the Lord had accepted my poor mites and so season­ably preserved and delivered. May this excite me still to persevere in the practice of committing them to Him day and night — whose eye is ever upon them.

The following year she records with joy that one of her sons had made profession of faith and had sat at the Lord's table, and adds, 'O that thou mayest keep him by Thy mighty power, thro' faith unto salvation'. She was conscious of the deceitfulness of the human heart, and writes of herself on one occasion:

What if I should be deceived, and take up the external ordi­nances, without enjoying the God of the ordinances in the ordinance: this calls loudly for self examination and close search, a mistake here is highly dangerous: therefore I will again cry to God most High, that He may perform this for me also.

At the close of 1822 the youngest son, who was at a distance, was taken very ill with an infection. Despite the difficulty, she brought him back to her home and felt he would die. But, with good care — no antibiotics in those days — he began to recover and she longed that the affliction might be used of God to the spiritual goods not only of this son but of his brothers also. "Without any restraint, I know not what temptations he might have hurried into — what snares might have been laid for his feet, which he could not escape, blessed be Thy name."

As a mother she was concerned not to be a stumbling block to her family, but rather that she might be of some help in all ways to each one. Not always was Ann Smith rejoicing in a felt sense of her Saviour. She tells us in one end­ of-year comment:

O what a sweet and comfortable change the end of this year, from what was the end of last year!

Then I walked in darkness, oppressed with unbelieving doubts and fears; but this year, for many weeks, how has the candle of the Lord shone in my tabernacle and in His light I have walked thro' darkness, and many times I have been filled with joy and peace in believing. Not unto me, but unto Thy name I ascribe all the glory, to Thee alone it is due.

During the long winter evenings the candle would be lit, and flax and wool spun to make clothing for the family. But, so that her little time was well used, a book would also be fastened unto the rock of the spinning wheel so that she could read as she spun. Matthew Henry appears to have been a favourite among other writers who gave food for her spiritual growth. She enjoyed reading magazines that told of the work of Christ in various parts of the world amongst Jew and Gentile.

She would pray:

O be present in all the assemblies of Thy Saints thro' all the world and let thousands and ten thousands of souls enjoy Thy presence — Let Satan's kingdom be brought low and destroyed, and may King Jesus reign, and may we all be willing subjects.

Thus, although she did not travel far from her own area and lacked the visual stimuli which we have today through the media, she had a great concern and burden for the spread of the gospel to other lands, and gave liberally of her money for which she worked so hard, considering it a high and inestimable privilege so to serve Christ. On one occasion she had nothing to give and had to borrow some money, which grieved her. A few days later she was travelling and met someone who had years before defrauded her of some money. He gave her a third of what he owed, saying he felt she might be needing it. She says, 'I looked with astonishment at it, thinking surely the hand of God was in it'. She was able to repay what she had borrowed and had something over. She attended the annual meetings of the Whitburn Bible Association and other missionary meetings, and rejoiced that she was able to help by prayer and giving of her 'mite' in the enlargement of Christ's kingdom: 'O how good it is to find a heart willing to offer, and to see others forward in this work'.

We have mentioned how Ann Smellie kept family worship, but she was diligent in her own times of prayer. At each New Year she made a recommit­ment of herself and all she had to the Lord, reviewing His mercies during the past year. On one such occasion we find her writing:

In the beginning of New Year many are feasting and drinking, I will try to get a feast also by meditating on the love of Christ and drinking of the water of life fully.

The last year is gone, for ever gone; the new year is begun, and it is also hastening to its end. O may I be more active in performing the duties of my station than ever, not slothful in business, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord.

There are frequent entries recalling the need to make use of the time we have in this world for the glory of God. She writes, 'May I be diligent andactive while life and health last, and improve the talents committed to me for the glory of Him from whom I received them'

In later years, owing to painful rheumatism, she was not able to attend both services each Sunday and the two mid-week prayer meetings. But even when elderly she was so keen not to miss a blessing from the worship and preaching that she would walk in rain, wind or snow to the service, while others of younger years absented themselves. At such times she never suffered any ill effects in her health, and felt that the Lord preserved her.

After one such occasion she says: 'I was glad the Lord gave me such reso­lution and courage to come. I find these are always excellent days when I am almost prevented from coming.'

One of her great delights was to participate in the communion seasons at other congregations. People would walk many miles to neighbouring parishes for the 5 days of services. The local congregational members would give accommodation and hospitality and, besides the preaching, it was a time of rich fellowship. In anticipating such an occasion, she writes:

O grant me to sit down under Thy shadow with great delight, and may Thy fruit be sweet to my taste. May the banner of Thy love spread over me and may I by faith hear Thee saying "Eat, O friends; drink abundantly, O beloved".

In 1841, when aged 68 years, she had become so crippled with rheu­matism that she went to stay with her son some 10-15 miles away at Linlith­gow. But even while shut in at home her great desire was to bring forth fruit and not be a 'cumberer of the ground':

How little have I done for the glory of God or the good of souls: O Lord my own God and portion, I desire to lie humble in the dust before Thee, when I look but to every stage of my life, to the omissions and commissions, the blots and the blanks, that have filled every part of it; yet I am Thine, Thou wilt not cast me out. I am weary with sinning — I feel it a heavy burden. I long to be with Jesus where He is: then I shall serve Him without sin, without wearying, without interruption and without end — O make me meet for glory.

A minister who met her during the closing years of her life comments on how little she spoke of herself, but much of the love and mercy of God in Christ. To the last she retained her burden and concern for the extension of Christ's kingdom and her delight in reading.

In her final entry in her diary for May 24, 1844, she again commits herself and her family to the covenant-keeping God:

As Thou hast hitherto helped us, so I desire still to trust in Thee; and O that Thou mayest guide us with Thy counsel and may we go from strength to strength and every one of us at last appear before Thee in Zion. So desires Thy poor servant. O happy is that people whose God is the Lord, for He gives His Spirit to guide, and angels to guard, and secures heaven for their eternal inheritance.

It was into this inheritance that Ann entered on May 13, 1846, having been lovingly cared for by her sons during these latter years of much weakness and pain. She was truly one of those children of faith 'of whom the world was not worthy'.